Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Push on with your raisins

Would someone please tell me what the deal is with oatmeal raisin cookies? Okay so maybe half of you like them. But you know what? EVERYONE likes chocolate chip cookies. So why would you make something that only half of you like when you could just as easily make something that everyone likes? You selfish bastard.

Oh by the way, if you pile 3 or 4 layers of food onto your plate during an office pot luck, you can't call it "seconds" when you go back for more. And yes, people noticed that you did that.

You know what that was? That was me taking my place back at the top of the blog, and doing so with nonsense. Greg finally posts something but I couldn't let him have his hour or two to enjoy the top spot. Nope, I had to take my spot back with a lame Jerry Seinfeld-style rif on oatmeal raisin cookies and people who go overboard during pot luck lunches*. But you know what? I'm not gonna apologize for it.

* Pot luck lunches are cool, but I always get upset whenever I see someone participating with the $5 chip-in. Everyone else spent the night before preparing something, but this joker swoops in with his finski and gets to eat whatever he wants. He's usually the guy who will pile his plate high and deep too. Fuckin' joker. Whatever happened to that $5 anyway? What did it go towards? I know it wasn't plates or forks because Johnnie CantCook was in charge of bringing those. Marsha McPartyPlanner probably kept it herself. That thievin' "B".


  1. Josh Says:

    Who are you referring to with the plate piled high and deep?

  2. Anonymous Says:

    Are you looking for an actual name? Do I know you?

    I'm typing in generalities. I think that's a word.

  3. Molly Says:

    This blog is perfect timing for my story of what happened last night. I made cupcakes for our team meeting. Eighteen of them. Chocolate cupcakes, nine with vanilla frosting and nine with chocolate frosting. Maybe that would piss you off, like the 1/2 oatmeal raisin cookies, but I don't care. :) Anyway, I was transferring the tray of cupcakes to the other side of the kitchen and some invisible being (I have no other explanation for it) hit my arm and the tray of cupcakes dumped upside down on the floor. Needless to say, everyone's getting brownies now. And not frosted brownies, either, because that's gross.

  4. Josh Says:

    I work with you dumbass