Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Time for a little of the three R's...

Rest, relaxation and.... No wait. I guess there's just two R's. (Which makes me wonder, why do they call reading, writing and arithmetic the three R's? Only one of them actually starts with R. It's no wonder our public school system is in the shape its in.)

Anyway, I'm off on what we in the business call a hiatus (and by "business" I mean "Hollywood" and by "we" I mean "they"). 12 days of fun in the scorching heat of sunny Florida, USA. I'll bring you all back a snowglobe.

While I'm gone, my college roommate Carl will be housesitting for me. He won't actually be posting here but he will be picking up my mail and making sure the newspapers don't pile up on my driveway. If anyone wants to meet him, it should be easy to tell when he's at my house because he drives a big moving van. (I could really tell you some stories about the road trips and adventures we used to have with that moving van but I'll save that for a future blog entry.) He usually hangs out with two other guys who's names escape me right now, but I think they have skin conditions because whenever I see them, they're wearing ski-masks and gloves. Anyway, while I'm gone, Carl is going to be taking some of my furniture to be reappolstered and he's even taking my big screen TV to be repaired. Isn't he a great guy? He and his friends should have no problem moving them so don't bother asking them if you can help. Believe me, I've tried to volunteer to help them before and they're rather insistant that they can manage. But, if you want to go over and lend moral support, Carl said they'd be at my house "during broad daylight" (which I found to be a rather odd choice of words but that's Carl for you).

I'll see you all when I return.

- Greg

P.S. Is anyone available to drive me to the airport?

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Don't worry. Ben and Bruce will save us!*

We're all gonna die in 2036. Which is good, because I'll be 59 and probably pretty depressed about turning 60.

* Bruce Willis will be 80 so I doubt he'll be any help

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

A priest, a rabbi, and an imam walk into a bar...

In case you've been living under a rock, apparently there's been some excitement in the middle east because some people are upset about some cartoons. To recap, some Dutch newspaper published some editorial cartoons depicting the Islamic prophet Mohammed in a less than complementary manner. One of them depicted Muhammed turning away suicide bombers from "paradise" because they are all out of virgins. However, most of them were less clever. Islamic tradition prohibits the depiction of Mohammed in any way. (It stands to reason that Dutch tradition is ambivilant.) Muslims across the middle east and part of Europe reacted by torching embassies, rioting in the streets, and declaring their hatred for Europe and the west in general. In other words: business as usual. No big shock there. I think it would be bigger news if their first response to something wasn't "lets blow stuff up!"

But since we're talking about reactions to offensive religious images, did any of the mainstream media outlets take time to note that when rapper Kanye West appeared on the cover of Rolling Stone as Jesus, Christians didn't take to the streets and start burning down record stores and marching with signs that read, "Death to the iPod!" or "Media Play you will PAY!"?

As what may come to a surprise, the New York Times says they will not run the images out of respect to Muslim sensibilities. Today, they instead reprinted a photo of the controversial Virgin Mary depicted in elephant dung. I guess you only have to worry about a group's sensibilities when they are a threat to burn down your building.

Thursday, February 02, 2006

Phil? Phil Conners?

It's the same things your whole life. "Clean up your room.", "Stand up straight.", "Pick up your feet.", "Take it like a man.", "Be nice to your sister.", "Don't mix beer and wine, ever." Oh yeah, "Don't drive on the railroad track."