1 Happy St

Horrible news. Chicago's least favorite douchebag sports columnist Jay Mariotti has re-signed to continue being Chicago's least favorite douchebag sports columnist through May of 2011. I'll let the Chicago Sun-Times' editor-in chief Michael Cooke explain it:

"Chicago is a die-hard sports town, and Jay is a focal point of our strong, award-winning team that produces simply the best sports news in print and online anywhere. We are excited to continue working with Jay, and for him to continue to pull no punches when it comes to his exceptional sports commentary."

That all sounds like B.S. management-speak. So I'll translate what I think Michael really meant: "Chicago is a die-hard sports town, and Jay is a douchebag that gets people upset for no reason whatsoever when it comes to Chicago's sports teams. I don't think he even likes sports. I mean how could he? He only writes about how much he hates stuff. The plus side for me and the management within the Sun-Times though is that people from Chicago can't help themselves and continue clicking on his online columns and continue buying our newspaper to specifically read him. We don't know why they do it, but they do. So as long as this joker is going to continue making us profitable, we're going to continue letting him print his bullshit. Hey if you don't like it, stop clicking on his name you crackhead."

That sounds about right.