1 Happy St

One of the best pieces of advice I have ever received came from a former neighbor of mine who said to me "always deuce at work because where else are you going to get paid to deuce". Now I can't remember the context in which that even came up in our conversation; I think we were talking about pool supplies or something. But at the time he said it, I was one of those who people who would never deuce at work. I was like Shitbreak from American Pie. I wasn't going in there for that.

But then I started to weigh the pros and cons. The obvious pros were that it makes you feel better immediately. Also, holding it in can be damaging to your health and nobody needs that. Now as like a bonus, there was this new pro that I hadn't thought of until my genius neighbor brought it to my attention. As I saw it, there was only 1 con; I'd be occupying a space that had previously been occupied by another male co-worker who had recently had his pants around his ankles. Granted, that's a huge con. But the question was, was that con worth the prospect of missing out on free money? My answer - hells no. So I became one of those guys who deuces at work. And honestly, it changed my life. No more feeling sick when I got home. My health risks were cut by 34% (figures estimated and chosen arbitrarily). And most importantly, I was getting paid to do it.

So why am I bringing this up now? No reason whatsoever. Oh wait yes there is. I bring this up to you now because a few weeks ago, I shared this advice with a friend of mine and he seems to have really taken to it. I know this because ever since then, I've been getting texts from him (usually right after lunch time) that say "totally getting paid for this". Glad I could help Friend. Glad I could help.

And now I pass this advice onto you. Next time you're in there, please think of me.