Monday, April 14, 2008

A hodgepodge of nonsense that nobody will enjoy

Why do I create a hodgepodge of nonsense that nobody will enjoy? Well I do it for you. 'Cause I know you won't enjoy it. I'm a jerk like that.

I can't even tell you how many times so far in this baseball season that I've heard people tell me not to get too high on the White Sox doing well and the Tigers absolutely sucking. I hear it on local radio. I hear it from Cubs fans. I read it in the newspaper. Every time I turn around, someone is telling me to calm down; it won't last. Well if that's true, why should I calm down? Why shouldn't I enjoy it while it's happening? That would be stupid, wouldn't it? If someone told me that I could eat all the chocolate I wanted to for 5 days, but after those 5 days were up, I could never eat chocolate again, do you think I would consider not eating chocolate for those 5 days because I know it wouldn't last? Hell no, right? I would continue eating all that chocolate until my head exploded. So save your lectures about the White Sox winning and the Tigers losing not lasting. That may be true. But I'm sure as hell going to enjoy it while it does.

I found out on Saturday that Jill is going to be a much better parent than I will ever be. We had the honor of shopping at the mall with some younger relatives (Emma - 4 and Madison - 5). The no's were bouncing off of Jill like it was her job. "Jill can I have this?" "No." "Jill can you buy me that?" "No put it back." I wasn't as good at it. "Brian can I get this?" "Sure, how much does it cost?" "Brian can you buy me that." "Of course, what is it?" It turns out I have a lot to learn.

Oh, also...The Disney Store is a huge scam. That's all I have to say about that.

My customer called me on my cell phone at 5am on Sunday to warn me about something that is scheduled to happen at 1pm today. Here's how the conversation with Jill went right after I got off the phone. "Who was that?" "I don't know." "What did they want?" "I'm really not sure." "Was it for work?" "I guess." Needless to say, his boss and I are going to have a little chat later.

All weekend I was looking forward to seeing that Sarah Marshall movie. I tried convincing people to see it with me on Friday but that fell through. I had other things planned all day Saturday so that didn't work. Finally on Sunday we decided to see it. I was in charge of finding the start time. Hmm, it's not playing at this theater. That's weird, it's not playing at this theater either. I figured it'd be playing everywhere. Sonofabitch, it opens next Friday. I'm an idiot.

Happy Tax Day Eve


  1. Josh Says:

    Needless to say, his boss and I are going to have a little chat later.

    Why do people say needless to say, and then say it anyway?

  2. Jeremy Says:

    Brian, I just want you to know that the other day I was listening to baseball and Joe Morgan said something to the effect of:

    "Well you have to like the way he hit that ball right up the center. You have to go up the center in a spot like that. Or to right. Or left too."

    Wait Joe Morgan, are you telling me that in baseball I either have to hit the ball to the right, left, or center? Wow it's all so much clearer now...

  3. Anonymous Says:

    Greg, can you tell Josh that you and I are the only one's who are allowed to point out things like that around here? Especially if it comes at our expense? Thanks.

    Josh, nicely done.

    Jeremy, keep it coming. Any time Joe goes all Tim McCarver on us, I want to know about it.

  4. macstars24 Says:

    mr. brain, the netzel gave me a link to your blog so I've been creeping you. your commentary is hilarious. anyway, feel free to creep mine:

  5. Jane Says:

    macstars24, you've successfully creeped me (out).

  6. Anonymous Says:

    Cool, I'll check you out. We used to have a blogroll over on the right of our favorite blogs, but I don't know what happened to them. I just get used to blaming Greg for the admin stuff.