Friday, March 16, 2007

If sports figures actually spoke the truth

"I still have a ways to go," said Sammy Sosa after making the Texas Rangers 40-man roster. "Just because I made the team doesn't mean I get to slow down. No way. And now that my HGH dealer got busted, I have to find a new one. So I'm not home free just yet."

Former Milwaukee Bucks head coach Terry Stotts spoke candidly about his recent firing from the team. "Most coaches won’t admit this," said Stotts. "But we want to get fired. Now I can sit at home, continue to get paid, and someone else will have to answer for that busted team. My only regret is this didn’t happen earlier in the season."

ESPN agreed this week to carry the USA Rock Paper Scissors League Championship this summer. Cubs pitcher Kerry Wood was invited, but declined the invitation. "It sounds fun," said Wood. "But I don’t want to injure my achilles."

Former Detroit Tigers outfielder Bobby Higginson said the feelings he had as he watched his former team competing in the World Series last October were bittersweet because he had to watch the games from home. "I was happy for the guys, but it was still bittersweet for me personally," said Higginson. "It seems that I was there for the bad times, but I missed out on the good. Then again, I was probably the main reason for the bad."

Chicago Bears defensive tackle Terry "Tank" Johnson was sentenced to 120 days in jail on Thursday for violating his probation in a 2005 weapons case. "I’m obviously disappointed in the ruling," said Tank. "Honestly, what does it say about our court system that a rich and famous man like me can’t get away with simple weapon and drug charges?"

Tim Hardaway is working on repairing his image after last month's radio interview in which he admitted to hating gay people. "Next time I'll keep in mind the cardinal sin of radio interviews," said Hardaway. "Never admit to hating gays out loud."

Former Reds manager Pete Rose admitted on ESPN Radio’s Dan Patrick Show earlier this week that he bet his team would win before every one of their games. "Yeah, I did," said Rose. "I’m a big jag-bag."

Well said Pete, well said.


  1. Molly Says:

    Brian, you have just made it onto my list. And it's not the good list, either. Bobby Higginson is the finest man that was ever created!!!!

  2. Anonymous Says:

    I knew I'd get a reaction from the Detroit peanut gallery. All in good fun Molly, all in good fun.

    I should have taken the Tim Hardaway advice: never ridicule someone in front of them or in front of a person who likes the person you're ridiculing.