Friday, April 06, 2007

People I can do without

That Guy that says ‘who do I look like, John Rockefeller?’ when you ask to borrow a quarter or something. The ‘what do I look like, a bank?’ guy should probably go too, so perhaps we should just retire the whole analogy and simply hand over the quarter.

That Girl who says she gets along better with guys. Yeah, you know why? Because other women hate you. And you know why they hate you? Because you’re a flirt who hits on their boyfriend.

That Guy who pees on the seat. C’Mon man, lift it or aim straight.

That Guy who takes a smoke break during the movie, then comes back to his seat wreaking like an ashtray. You couldn’t wait 2 hours?

The one-upper. You never had a car that went that fast, and you never dated that celebrity. Get over yourself.

People who say 'exclamation mark'. Although if they said 'question point', I would totally let that slide because that would just be funny.

That Girl who shows her thong. Either pull your pants all the way down, or pull them all the way up. Don’t give me none of this halfway crap.

That Guy who talks about the gym. I get it, you’re working on your pecs. I don’t care. Push on.

That Guy who doesn’t turn down his radio when he pulls into the driveway. I’m all for jamming during the drive, but once you’ve reached your destination, turn it down. Your music sucks anyway.

Bar owners who charge cover when there’s no band playing. You’re already charging $8 a beer, now you’re gonna charge me $20 just to get in?

Joe Morgan

That Guy or Girl who puts the top down on their convertible, but the windows are up. Are you kidding me? That’s a joke, right? Please tell me somebody paid you to do that.

People who leave their food in the refrigerator at work for weeks. Heaven forbid I can find a place for my lunch that I brought in TODAY, instead I have to stack it on top of somebody’s month-old meatloaf.

That Guy who blogs his random thoughts and complaints. Nobody cares Man, nobody cares.

2 comments:

  1. Melissa Says:

    I am so glad that you called out Frank and his "exclamation mark!"

    At this rate, it might at well be spelled "ecksclamation mark!"

    !
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    !

  2. Molly Says:

    I think that "what do I look like, a bank?" comeback should be used whenever someone tries to borrow something:

    Borrow a kleenex - "What do I look like, a paper factory?"
    Borrow a stamp - "Who do I look like, Newman?"
    Borrow your ketchup - "Who do I look like, H.J. Heinz?"
    Borrow your lawnmower - "What do I look like, Home Depot?"
    Borrow a pen - "Who do I look like, Office Max?"