Tuesday, February 19, 2008

It's February, which means our favorite [bleep] is back

I'm going to show you a series of quotes from a real sports figure. These quotes will not be edited in any way, shape, or form. They will be the exact quotes as the person spoke them. And then you have to guess who they're from. I also want you to keep in mind as you're reading them the context in which he was speaking. He wasn't mad. He wasn't angry at the reporter. He was just shootin' the sh** like somebody would who is playing cards with his friends or something. Okay you ready? There's some rough language. Here goes:

''I'll be cocky. If we win this year, I might run naked down Michigan Avenue like people expect me to do.''

''I don't give a sh** what people think about me. I win 200 games in two years, and nobody ever mentions that. Well, if you're not going to give me credit when the team wins ... that made me think, 'Wow, what kind of life are we living?' My team wins 200 games, I didn't have a losing season, and they treat me that way. Then if you're a nice guy, they are going to treat you the same way. F*ck it, be an assh*** then. I would rather be an assh*** winning than be a nice guy f*cking losing. Give me an assh*** who can win, don't give me a nice guy who can f*cking lose.''

''You know what's funny? When you're on the hot seat and you tell your boss how horsesh** you are, and you tell your boss, 'Hey, man, I should do this different. It's my fault, I let this team go too far.' I let stuff go too far. And then when I put my foot down, it was like, whoa, it's the end of the world. People were saying, 'Aw, that's just [Me] being [Me].' Bullsh**. I hate the phrase. That's exactly the way I am.''

and my personal favorite:

''If my sh** sells papers every day and we win, well, I want to be on the front page every day. As long as I don't rape anybody, as long as I pay my taxes, I don't beat my wife...if I am going to be on the front page of the newspaper because of f*cking baseball, I will take that."

Okay, so who said all of those things? I'll give you one guess. Give up? Of course you don't. You knew it was Ozzie Guillen all along, didn't you? Ain't he the best? AND THE WORST?

Click here for the entire article. Or don't. I pretty much summed up the whole f*cking thing.

I'm so glad baseball is back.

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