1 Happy St

I had a bad dream last night that I was trying to do algebra problems using a calculator made out of butter in a room full of bowling balls. It was a logistical nightmare.

My friend Bill is such a big gossip... but you didn't hear that from me.

I wanted to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony too... But then I thought, "what if the only song we could all agree on was Afternoon Delight?" I'm thinking the Coca-Cola company would reconsider, too.

I bet Oskar Schindler was a very efficient grocery shopper.

'Leotard' sounds like a lion that always gets left behind during the hunt, and then when they let him in, he just drools all over the carcass.

I think they should make cheddar-flavored Teddy Grahams, if for no other reason than to put the fear of God in those uppity Goldfish.

Have a great weekend, everyone!