Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Schadenfreude for me is spelled J-E-R-R-A-M-Y

With the Super Bowl only 4 days away, I was going to use this forum to give you a feel-good football story. But since I was unable to find a feel-good football story*, I have decided to give you the exact opposite. I am going to introduce you to TE Jerramy Stevens, formerly of the Seattle Seahawks** and current member of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.

* A feel-good football story for me would be Tom Brady with a shattered femur. Or a variation of that kind of pain. I've never shattered my femur, but I imagine the pain would be excruciating. I dislike the Patriots so much that I have now reached the point where I am wishing pain on Tom Brady. And the weird part is I don't even dislike him. I just dislike his team. And for that I wish him serious physical pain. I think I may be a bad person.

** Did the Seahawks originally call themselves the Seahawks because the word 'seahawk' starts out with S-E-A and so does Seattle? Or did they call themselves the Seahawks because the town itself is known for a lot of seahawks? Because if that's the case, I think the Seattle Osprey's would have been a better name.

Anyway, Jerramy Stevens is a TE for Tampa Bay. A glimpse into his life can be found here. I urge you to read as much of that story as you can without finding out which town Jerramy lives in, flying there, renting a car, driving to his house, getting out of your car, walking up his walkway, reaching his front door, knocking on it, waiting for him to open it, and then punching him square in the face.

Enjoy.

Or don't enjoy. It's awful. The man is a joke. He's not even a man. My schadenfreude towards Tom Brady has now officially been passed on to Jerramy Stevens.

3 comments:

  1. Jane Says:

    You ARE a bad person. Why do you dislike the Patriots so much? What did they ever do to you?!

    (Go Pats!)

  2. Brian Says:

    Really all you have to do for me to hate you is win all the time and not be from Chicago. I'm not proud of that. But I think it started with this annoying guy I used to work with who was a Pats fan and I had to sit next to him and he never shut up about them. That and Bill Belichick has the personality of a gray hoodie.

  3. Jane Says:

    Ha! He really does.

    Fortunately, he's a great coach despite that. (Ignoring of course, the whole video taping incident) I still think you should root for the Patriots this Sunday...if only because you should never support a New York team. Just accept the fact that it is Boston's year to be awesome.