1 Happy St

If you didn't want to waste nearly 5 hours watching politicians who know nothing about baseball bash the sport for being dishonest, I will recap the key conversation from some of the key people involved.

Rep. Christopher Shays: "Blah blah blah blah I've never watched baseball in my entire life, but blah blah blah I'm going to get up on my soapbox and bash the sport for which I know nothing about and blah blah blah blah Barry Bonds is the anti-christ blah blah blah blah what the hell is a soapbox anyway and blah blah blah I hope I didn't mis-pronounce Palmarry's name blah blah blah is this meeting almost done? I have a meeting with a stripper in an hour blah blah blah I'm going to get off my soapbox now blah blah blah but all of you guys are evil blah blah blah has anyone seen my vile of cocaine blah blah blah I'm outta here."

Bud Selig (or as Rep. Shays calls him, Bud Sellick): "I'm sorry, but was that even a question? I'm confused."

Rep. Diane Watson: "Don't change the subject Sellick. Answer the question. Blah blah blah blah save the blah blah children blah blah I'm a bigger idiot than Shays blah blah blah I am totally unprepared blah blah blah what am I even doing here?"

Bud Selig: "Baseball is enjoying record profits. We're all rich. Have I mentioned what we've done with inter-league play?"

Don Fehr: "Allow me to interject here one second. I have nothing to say on the matter."

Rep. Christopher Shays: "Thank you for your time Gentlemen blah blah blah you're all still evil blah blah blah and Mr. Sellick I think you may be the devil blah blah blah I still haven't found my vile blah blah blah and I'm late for my stripper blah blah blah steroids blah blah waste of money blah blah poor taxpayers blah nothing solved blah Tejada may be going to prison."

That about sums it up. Aren't you glad you missed it? I wish I had.