1 Happy St

- It sucks that the Bulls lost last night, but not because they won’t be playing anymore. I’m more upset that I have to avoid the local newspapers all day today.

- Speaking of the Bulls, this comment about Bulls rookie Thabo Sefolosha comes courtesy of my co-worker Alex’s wife, she of the 'who is D-Gate' fame: "Sefolosha sounds like a disease. I wish I could get rid of this chronic Sefolosha." I like it. I’m using it. Good work Alex’s wife.

- Do you think cigar smokers realize the pretty recognizable metaphor? Keep sucking on that Bernie, I won’t mention it.

- There are very few feelings that are worse than that initial anxiety when a large pill gets stuck in your throat. It’s a good thing it only lasts half a second.

- If you don't like talking to strangers, do not purchase a new 4-door Jeep Wrangler. You'll just have to trust me on this. And if any of you have a good response to the words 'you know my cousin has a Jeep', I'm open to it. So far, 'oh yeah?' is all I've been able to come up with.

- I love gas grills, but I have to admit I miss that smell in the neighborhood when someone’s using charcoal. Why can’t Yankee Candle capture that?

- I’ll brush my teeth 99 times in a row without incident, but on the 100th time, I’ll spit out just a little bit of blood. What’s that about?

- Why do all-you-can-eat buffets make you hold on to your fork? You’d think that would be easier to replace than the plate.

- Restaurants like that are wasted on me anyway. For some reason, I can only eat one plate-full of crap. I do like that soft-serve ice cream at the end though. Kudos to the guy who decided chocolate chips were necessary.