1 Happy St

Have you ever been canoeing? What's the difference between the oar with two paddles and the one with just one paddle? I think if given the choice, I'd be fine with either oar.

Have you ever rooted for one of your pieces of electronics to break down on you so you could justify buying a new one? Me neither. I'm very happy with my 2 and a half year old Dell DJ mp3 player with the black and white display.

I saw a commercial for blueberry vodka. Seems like they've got vodka that tastes like pretty much everything now. Can rum-flavored vodka be far behind?

I've never found a pair of headphones that fit my head and ears correctly.

It's taken a while but I think our generation will officially kill pipe smoking.

Something tells me that if they had come out today, they wouldn't have been called Erector Sets.

What's with calendars that start on Monday? That's idiotic. Stop it. Unless you start making clocks that start at 2:00.

What does "velop" mean? You can DEvelop and ENvelop but you never see it just as velop.

I think the the people at Milton Bradley are to blame for the rampant spread of venereal disease among teens. If we want to teach the kids not to catch "cooties", we shouldn't be telling them that STDs are adorable multi-colored bugs.

Pennies are pointless. Anything that you could lose 500 of without getting too upset about can't be worth keeping around.

I am betting that children in Italy make much more elaborate art projects with pasta.