Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Lindsay Lohan, Fake Weaponry, and other Randoms

- The survey showing that Americans are not driving less even with gas prices as high as they are seems kind of pointless to me. An extra $20 per week in gas does not prevent me from continuing to have to go to work every day. I wish it did.

- I would bet that a skin-colored yarmulke would be the worst seller of all the yarmulkes. But that’s just a hunch.

- I think it would be funny if somebody got a tattoo of a pimple right on the top of their shoulder just to gross people out when they go swimming.

- Why do we make sure to give a 20% tip to the waitress who brings our food to us from a kitchen that’s like 20 feet away, but we tip our pizza guy a fraction of that for bringing our food to us from clear across town?

- I wish the TV networks would stagger the May season finales. One week they have us hooked on a dozen different shows and then the next week there’s nothing on. My evenings are so boring now. I suppose I can talk to Jill or go outside.

- DUI, possession of cocaine, and leaving the scene of an accident, those are all pretty serious crimes. But why do we never hear about Lindsay Lohan being cited for underage drinking? She’s only 20. Is that no longer against the law?

- How many accidents do you think occur each year from people slamming on their brakes when they see a police car sitting in the median? Perhaps the side of their car should say 'To Protect and Serve….and cause mass pileups on the highway'.

- Why would anyone go to Panda Express?

- I think it should be legal to keep a fake gun in your glove box just so you can scare the guy who waits until the last second to merge before the road construction starts.

- At what point will I simply refuse to buy a beer at the ballpark? I remember being pissed when the price reached $4 and it wasn’t that long ago.

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5 comments:

  1. Megan Says:

    A few things -

    I like the second picture you used much better than the first.

    I agree that the networks should stagger their season finale's. I had a rough Thursday a couple of weeks ago trying to watch all of the finale's (with no TiVo) and now there is nothing to watch on Thursday. I've had to make do with actually speaking to other humans.

    Also, Lindsday Lohan is an idiot. I know that has nothing to do with this blog, but I wanted to share.

    that's all.

  2. Anonymous Says:

    Thanks Jane, I went to a lot of trouble finding that picture. That particular comment was inspired by a co-worker of mine who would have been perfect, but I doubt he would have let me take his picture for that purpose.

    You really should get Tivo. Much like getting your first DVD player, you really can't realize what you're missing until you get one. I was shocked to learn that you actually spend less time watching TV when you're able to tape everything ahead of time and then watch it when it suits you.

  3. Megan Says:

    I think it's one of those "I'll believe it when I see it" kind of things. I do want one, but I'm convinced I'd watch more tv. But several people have told me they watch less. We'll see. :)

  4. Anonymous Says:

    Or you could be like me - watch one good episode of America's Next Top Model rerun, program your Tivo to record every episode it runs into, then fill up the memory, never watching a single one you taped. You ever try to delete 25 events one-by-one? It's a pain in the ass!!

    (and I proofread this 5 times to make sure all my grammar and spelling was correct...I'm keeping my fingers crossed you don't find anything, Brian... :)

  5. Anonymous Says:

    I wouldn't proofread yours Molly, unless of course you prefaced your comment by calling me an idiot (smiley).