1 Happy St

Have you ever noticed how many different meanings the word 'screw' has? It's a verb for sex, as in "let's screw" or "hey, you wanna screw?" It's a noun that sometimes refers to a prison guard, as in "look at that screw over there" or "I don't think I trust that screw". It's a verb for being in trouble, as in "uh oh, we're screwed". It's a verb for cheating someone out of something, as in "dude, I can't believe you just screwed me". It's a verb for wasting time. My dad was always good for this one, saying things like "you better quit screwin' around back there" or "sit down and quit screwin' around". It's a verb for making a mistake, as in "damn we screwed up". It's even an idiom; "I think the guy who sits next to me has a screw loose" or "no for real, he has a screw loose. Someone should do a background check on that guy. I'm scared to come into work sometimes. We're all gonna die one day." And of course, it's a noun for a type of fastening device, as in "can you hand me that box of screws?" or "damn it, I stripped the head on this screw."

The odd thing is that for almost all of them, you can substitute the word "screw" for "f#ck". As in "hey, you wanna f#ck" or "I don't think I trust that f#ck" or "uh oh, we're f#cked" or "dude, I can't believe you just f#cked me" or "sit down and quit f#cking around" or "damn we f#cked up". I think the only place where substituting "screw" for "f#ck" doesn't work is in the context of the idiom and the fastening device. But I'm gonna try to change all that. Next time I find myself putting up some drywall or something, you may just hear me say something like "hey, can you hand me a box of those drywall f#cks?"

Who's with me?

You're not? Well then screw you!