1 Happy St

- They tried to make me go to rehab, but I said no, no, no. If you’re familiar with those lyrics, good luck trying not to sing them the rest of the day.

- Tennis is a sport that you have to be good at to enjoy. Otherwise you’re just a goofy a-hole running back and forth chasing a yellow ball.

- At least with golf, if you suck, they’ll still let you drive the cart and you can drink beer for 4 straight hours. Is there a way to combine tennis with alcohol and driving?

- Sometimes I’ll look out the window and I’ll see a blue sky with white clouds, and I’m immediately reminded of The Simpsons.

- If I’m flipping through the channels and I inexplicably find that "Can’t Buy Me Love" is on, there’s a 100% chance that I’m going to watch it at least until Ronald Miller shits on the red-haired kids house. After that, I may keep watching, I may not. Depends on how I feel.

- I find that the older I get, the bigger appreciation I have for nice looking work shoes. But after looking at some of my co-workers who are in their late 30s and 40s, I recognize that that appreciation will eventually diminish and I will soon substitute looks for comfort.

- "You shit on my house Man, you shit on my house!" Classic. He may be Dr. McDreamy to you, but he'll always be Ronald "McDonald" Miller to me.

- Nothing will stop you in your tracks quite like a toe cramp. Does anybody know the reason why the 2nd toe likes to make its way over to the big guy every so often? Son of a B, that hurts.

- One thing I’ve learned since the DVD era began is that most of those scenes were deleted for good reason.

- Whenever a good idea comes along, I sometimes wonder why it took so long to be developed. Like why did it take nearly 100 years of going to a movie theater before it was decided that stadium seating would work better? Same goes for the built-in cup holders. Both are no-brainers, but we didn’t start seeing them until the 1990’s. What the hell?

- Never trust a bartender who charges you a different amount for the same set of drinks every time you make your way to the bar.

- If I were a regular rider of the train into work, I think I’d be a lower-level guy. The upper level seems so cramped, and there would always be that anxious feeling of not being able to get to the door quick enough when you reached your stop, and I don’t need all that drama.

- They tried to make me go to rehab, but I said no, no, no. Have a good weekend.