Wednesday, June 27, 2007
A spoonful of Randoms
by Anonymous at 12:09 PM
- I could accidentally spill a cup of water that's being held at a distance of 2 feet from my body, but it would still manage to find my crotch somehow. Is that just bad luck, or does the crotch send off some kind of magnetic force for liquids?
- I would pay $100 to watch a discussion between Paris Hilton and her mother about United States foreign policy. And I would wager an extra $100 that the discussion would turn to dogs, makeup, or shopping within 30 seconds.
- Whenever someone says to me "hey, what’s up?", I always have a brief moment of panic. It's obvious that "not much" is the correct answer, but I'm always afraid that I'll answer the wrong question and say something like "pretty good". And then there will be a few seconds of silence while we both realize that I'm a big moron.
- It's '1-2-3-4-I-declare-a-thumb-war-ready-go'. Any deviation from that and you're wrestling a cheater.
- Was Vince's portrayal of Pablo Escobar on "Entourage" some kind of joke? He walked like Ace Ventura and he looked like Tony Clifton. Whose idea was that?
There are so many times I will reply inappropriately to people's walk-by comments. I try not to dwell on it, because I wasn't really listening to them to begin with, and they probably weren't listening for a response either.
I guess I've always been a cheater. I have never heard that you need to say "ready, go" after declaring a thumb war. Oh well, once a cheater, always a cheater. :)
We could always use the method that the people in the Swear Jar commercial used.
"Hey Brian, what's up?"
"[BLEEP] You!"
I suppose this could also be called the Ozzie Guillen method.