Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Fra-gee-lee, must be Italian

I've read this story a couple times now and I still don't think I understand it. Can somebody please help me out here? Here's what it sounds like:

A man named John Wood is involved in a plane crash and has to have his leg amputated. He asks the doctors if he can keep the severed limb so that when he dies he can be buried with it. The doctors oblige. Fast-forward. Financial troubles cause Wood to lose his house, so he rents a storage locker for all of his possessions. To save space (perhaps?), he puts his amputated leg in a smoker (perfectly reasonable). Fast-forward again. He misses some payments on the storage locker, so the facility auctions off his possessions, including the smoker, which unbeknownst to the auctioneers, contains a severed leg inside.

Hey, maybe we should open that smoker to see if there's anything inside it.

Nah, let's start the auction.

So the smoker (and leg) gets purchased by a man named Shannon Whisnant. Whisnant gets the thing home, opens it up, and OHMYGOD THERE'S A FRIGGIN LEG IN HERE!

Here's where the story gets shady.

Right, it's not shady yet.

Whisnant calls the police, the police determine that the severed leg was not put there as a result of foul play (how the hell did they determine that?), and it is then handed over to a funeral home. However, being the entrepreneur that he is, Whisnant has a change of heart.

Is there any way to profit off of this thing? Of course there is. People will come from all over the globe to see a real severed leg on display. And I'm sure they'll pay admission too. It's almost too perfect.

Whisnant consults with an attorney to try and get the leg back so that he can charge people to view it. Of course the law sides with Wood because it's his friggin leg. So Whisnant tries to persuade Wood to share it.

C'mon Man, you can have it during the week, I'll get it on weekends and holidays. We'll make millions! Or at least hundreds.

Wood wants no part of that, saying "I don't mind having the 15 minutes of fame, but I'm not looking to really profit off this thing."