1 Happy St

- I don’t like that every month, I get one of my paychecks on the same day that my mortgage is due. It’d be nice to see that money in my bank account for at least a couple of hours.

- Do insurance companies have insurance? And if so, whom do they buy it from? It seems like that would be an infinite problem.

- It’s been a while since I heard a good 'yo momma' joke. Like 'yo momma is so old, her phone number is 6'. That’s a good one. I want more though.

- My updated to-do list: Bring back no duh, bring back hot dog (which I think is working), and bring back yo momma jokes. I also have to get a present for Jill’s birthday tomorrow, but that can wait.

- The guy who puts bongman7@hotmail.com on his resume' couldn’t be serious about finding a job, could he? I could see if he was in the top 5, but 7th? No chance.

- It was over 80 degrees outside when I winterized my pool this year. I’m not sure what this means, but it can’t be good news. I can only hope I’ll be so lucky for Christmas light day.

- Greg, remember Christmas light day when we were younger? Ugh. Hey, can you do me a favor and balance yourself on the edge of this roof in the freezing cold for a little while? No? You want to stay inside where it’s warm and play Nintendo? Nonsense. C’mon outside. It’ll only be 6 hours. Wear your good jeans. And grab my drill. And the broken folding ladder. And put these extra bulbs in your pocket; we’re gonna need ‘em once we’re up on the roof and nothing works. Also, go out to my truck and get those 24 extension cords. And hold on to this big box of screws. Don’t let them fall off the roof. Where’s your brother?

- If he’s smart, he’ll be at a friend’s house until tomorrow.