1 Happy St

So earlier today, I went to Sportclips at lunch to get my haircut. I stopped going to Great Clips because Sportclips washes my hair for me afterwards and I hate being at work with hair clippings falling from my head. Also, Sportclips has televisions fixed on ESPN so I get to catch up on highlights of all the games that I watched live the day before. What kind of guy wouldn’t want that?

But today I had a problem; the girl cutting my hair wouldn’t shut up. It’s really a hit or miss kind of deal when you go into this place. You’ll either get a girl who says nothing and let’s you enjoy watching TV, or you’ll get a girl who wants to know things about you like where do you work and how long is your lunch break and do you know that you look like Rex Grossman? Yeah, she asked me about all of those things. Frankly, I could do without the “where do you work” question. I hate that question. I don’t even really know a good answer for it.

"Uh, I work for blah blah blah and I enjoy it and it’s a good gig and I like the people I work with and I’ve worked there for a while and sorry no I cannot get you a discount on your phone and somebody please kill me now."

It’s never an exciting conversation. It’s not like I’m an astronaut or something. I didn’t split the atom. I don’t own exotic properties on the East Coast. I’m not an architect. Hmm, maybe I should be. That’s a good idea. Next time somebody asks me what I do for a living, I’ll pull a George Costanza and say I’m an architect. That could work.

No it wouldn’t. The fact is I don’t want to talk about work; I want to watch sports. I thought that was the point of this place. So anyway, after the job conversation, I was just about ready for her to put me out of my misery by jabbing me in the ear with her scissors when she dropped this on me: "Has anyone ever told you that you look exactly like Rex Grossman?"

I wanted to respond with "has anyone ever told you that you talk too much and your tip is going down by a dollar with each question you ask me?", but instead I just said "yeah, I get that sometimes." She wasn’t done with me there though. She took it to another level.

She continued on with "It’s too bad it’s Rex Grossman. It’d be one thing if you looked like Tom Brady or…….who is that guy on the Cowboys?"

"Tony Romo," I said, reaching for any weapon I could get my hands on.

"Yeah, Tony Romo," she said. "He’s hot. So is Brady. They both are. Not to say that you’re not good looking, but Rex isn’t hot at all. And he’s not very good this year, is he?"

"No. No he’s not."

"Well hopefully he’ll do better in the playoffs this year than he did last year."

"Yes. If I could have but just one wish, that would be it."