1 Happy St

- I’m not jealous of people who live in warm-weather climates. Today, I sit here with buff arms from shoveling thousands of pounds of snow while they’re all fat and flabby from sitting on their front porches drinking beer. So there.

- Quote from Bears coach Lovie Smith: "The reality is we're 10-2. We just won the division with Rex [Grossman] at quarterback, so that's what I go on." Okay, so I’m confused: does he realize they did the same thing with Kyle Orton last year?

- I’d be satisfied if I never again have to see the Volkswagen Jetta commercial with that horrific collision at the end.

- Speaking of commercials, do you think the guy in the "this is our coffee break" portion of the Chevy ad got fired for sleeping on the job?

- People talk about computers today the same way they talked about cars in the 1960’s and 70’s. "Man, this thing is fast. It’s got 2 processing cores with a 2.0 GHz processor speed per core, we’re talking about some #### muscle."

- Maybe Rex Grossman had the Vikings defense on his fantasy team. You ever think of that?

- Any time you can keep a one-loss team out of the championship game because they lost to the top-ranked team by 3 on the top-ranked team’s home field, you gotta do it.

- I would have thought that the person who invented the plug-in candle was an idiot. But it turns out they’re a genius.

- If I put "annoying and unfunny" on my resume’, would the producers of The View be interested in me as a potential co-host?

- I saw Ben Wallace up close and in person on Saturday night. He looks like Dennis Rodman on offense and Eddy Curry on defense. This is going to end badly.

- Every couple weeks, my bed gets a new pillow. But I never lose one of the old one’s. How long can this continue?