Thursday, July 12, 2007
7 quick Randoms
by Anonymous at 4:31 PM
- If I’m legally drunk, why am I being arrested? Shouldn’t I have to be illegally drunk?
- When I was younger, I think I may have thought that the President had people actually living in his cabinet. And I don’t remember questioning this. There’s a good chance somebody missed an opportunity to get me to do something really crazy as a kid.
- If I was to ever write a book, I think I would title it "The Riot Act" just so people would have something to read to each other. Of course I’d have to make it about a riot or something, and that’s not really my expertise.
- I’d have one less thing to worry about if I knew how long it took for a lamb to shake its tail twice.
- "Libertarian" is just another word for "can’t make up his mind".
- How come there isn’t a universal term for what we call it when our foot falls asleep? Instead all we’re left with is "pins and needles". I would like to personally nominate "the tinglies".
- The hero of a movie is always good at fighting. Even if he’s a big wuss in the beginning, he ends up being a good fighter in the end. Just once I’d like to watch a movie where the hero gets his ass kicked for about 5 straight minutes, followed by rolling credits.
I think you should write the book, because you're a riot!! :)
Or how about the bad guys using machine guns to shoot at the good guys, and nary a bullet actually meets its target? At least not fatally. Yet every bullet fired from the good guys' guns (usually non-automatic) always sends the bad guys to their demise. I mean, come on...
I have been told my an anonymous emailer (who has not yet returned my email back to him or her) that my random about being legally drunk is a variation of a previously told Dane Cook joke. I promise I didn't know that ahead of time, and I've tried to find the Dane Cook joke they are referring to, but have not been able to. My apologies to the millionaire Dane Cook if the emailer is accurate.
No one steals a Dane Cook joke. He is widely known for stealing other comics' stuff. Wiki him, and look under "material."
Not to mention, that basic joke has been told by many comics.
George Carlin:
"Well if it's legal what's the god damn problem?" or "Hey, leave my friend alone officer, he's LEGALLY drunk!"
Eff off anonymous. :)
Thanks for sticking up for Brian, Maygan. For what it's what it's worth, I think Brian and I do a pretty good job of making sure what we've said hasn't been said before or at least not in the same way. I regularly Google things I write to see if there are any similar thoughts out there. Sometimes there are but just because someone said it first, doesn't make it any less funny.
The thing about observational humor is that you're pointing out things that everyone has noticed before but you try to put your own unique take on it. Sometimes someone beats us to the punch. I'm not going to tell Dane Cook that he has to be familiar with every joke ever written before he writes another joke and I don't think he'd tell us that either.
Rock on.