1 Happy St

I'll keep this week's critique of the Joe Morgan chat short and sweet by ignoring the answers where he's simply wrong while instead focusing on where he gives his standard "non-answer" answer. And away we go.
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Jon (Emerson, NJ): Do you see the Yankees winning the wild card and what roll do you see Giambi filling when he returns?

Brian: Jon, I think you meant "role", not "roll". Unless of course you're referring to some kind of popover at the buffet table. Joe, I beg of you to answer that part of the question with something like "a Pillsbury with butter". Please, do it for me.

Joe Morgan: ...They have a chance of winning, but it doesn't mean they're going to win. Giambi, if he can come back and hit, that left handed bat can help. They can get better if he can come back and produce.

Brian: Ugh. No comedy, no answer. I'm bummed. Although we're only 1 question in and Joe is already on a role. Sorry, I couldn't resist.
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Rob (rs nation): Hey Joe, What'd you think of Schilling's return to the mound last night?

Brian: Here's what I imagine Joe to be thinking in his head while he reads this question from Rob: "Easy now Joe, you remember that Schilling guy. He's on the Red Sox. He has that blog. You hate blogs. You hate Schilling. You probably shouldn't mention him in this answer. Just mention his team. You're familiar with the Red Sox, just make something up. You should probably mention the Yankees too. You can't mention the Red Sox without mentioning the Yankees. Okay Fingers, type away."]

Joe Morgan: The Red Sox are a good team. They've been able to play well even with him out. Their starting pitching is the key. The Yankees have the best lineup, but not the best pitching.

Joe's Brain: Good work Joe's Fingers.

Brian's Brain: Why am I even reading this chat? Oh yeah, for 1happyst. Greg doesn't pay me enough for this crap. I wonder if I paid my Visa bill. Eh, who cares? Jill will take care of it. No she won't, I better pay it myself. No, concentrate. Get back on point. Focus Man.
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CJ (Farmville, VA): You think this may finally be the year the Angels win it all?

Joe Morgan: The only thing that concerns me with the Angels is their shortage of power. You can eliminate Vladimir by not pitching to him. He's the only consistent power hitter on that team. I love watching them play, because they play the way the game is supposed to be played. But at this stage, their pitching hasn't been as strong.

Joe's Fingers: That didn't even make sense. Hey Joe's Brain, you just said that the only thing that concerns you is their shortage of power. Then the last thing you had me type was that their pitching hasn't been strong. Pick a lane, which one is it?

Joe's Brain: Shut up Fingers, nobody asked you. ESPN will pay me regardless of the nonsense I have you type. You think it's easy being their best analyst and an Emmy Award winner? Quit your yapping and get to typing. Hey, that almost rhymed.

Joe's Fingers: I hate you.

Brian: I'm staying out of this.
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Luke (Nome, Alaska): How valuable is a bench? What types of hitters do you need for a good bench? How useful are pinch runners . . . do they waste a roster space?

Joe's Brain: If he's just a pinch runner, you're wasting a roster space. I think bench players are important, especially late in the season. The kind of guy that I would want is a guy that could run.

Joe's Fingers: There's no way I'm typing that.

Joe's Brain: Too late, you already did. You were typing it as I was thinking it. Sucker.

Joe's Fingers: Have you ever thought of moving to Singapore and stealing something? I'd be down for it.

Brian's Brain: This chat makes no sense. Greg's gonna be mad. Eh who cares? Let him be mad, he's not paying me for this. Which reminds me, you still haven't paid that Visa bill.
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Rick SD: Do you think there is often too much weight and kudos given to individual stat data accomplishments in what is supposed to be a team sport?

Joe Morgan: Finally somebody that understands the game. You're right. Statistics are overrated. What you do to help your team win is what it's all about. These stats like OPS, it doesn't tell you what you do for the team. To my opinion, to help the team, you drive in runs or score runs. That helps the team. That's how you should be judged.

Brian: Wrong

Brian's Brain: Hey, you said you weren't going to point out the stuff that was wrong, only the stuff where he didn't answer the question.

Brian: Shut up Brain and pay that Visa bill. And please end this chat. Nobody's reading anymore anyway.

Brian's Brain: Done and done!
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