Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Tea sucks

I don't like tea. I've tried. It tastes like ass. I don't mean to say that I'm familiar with the taste of ass. What I should probably say is that tea tastes how I imagine ass to taste.

I'm sitting here drinking a cup of it right now and I have no idea why. I've never had a cup of tea that made me say, "Wow, that was a good cup of tea!"

I'd been drinking it the last couple weeks to help me get over my cold. It helped a little I guess. Plus it had the added benefit of allowing me to walk around the office with a coffee cup acting important. "Look at me with my World's Greatest Mom coffee cup. Do you get the irony? You know because I'm not a Mom? I'm so clever."

Then I found myself stuck in the middle of conversations like, "Oh, you like the honey lemon? I'm a big fan of the Earl Gray." I have to say, there's nothing like a five minute diatribe on why Earl Gray tea is the cat's pajamas to make you want to bash someone about the scull with a World's Greatest Mom coffee cup. I'm going back to the Diet Pepsi.

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  1. Brian Says:

    Along those same lines, what's the deal with coffee snobs? Every morning, I go down for my morning coffee at our building's restaurant, but the coffee snobs always give me crap about it, saying things like "I can't believe you can drink that stuff; they make it so weak."

    So apparently, you're only a real coffee drinker if you drink the hard stuff that sticks to your teeth like pudding.

    Look Man, I'm just looking for a little caffeine in the morning. I'm not looking to get high for a few days.

    And another thing, just because Paul Giamatti didn't like it in "Sideways" doesn't mean you can't drink Merlot anymore. You drank it before that movie came out; you can still drink it today. Nobody will make fun of you.