1 Happy St

I woke up on the wrong side of the bed today. My wife was pissed.

I'm guessing Sneezy and Sleepy didn't get along very well. It's also probably a safe bet that Grumpy felt like clocking Happy on more than one occasion, too.

Diamonds are a girl's best friend because girls want a friend they can wrap around their finger.

Dogs are man's best friend because they want a friend they can lock in the bedroom when company comes over.

I think that no matter how long your car lease is, its twice as long as you want it to be.

Am I the only one who wishes for chaos in the BCS every year? A 5-way tie for #1 would be the sports equivalent to finding out that Al Sharpton prefers Aunt Jemima syrup over Mrs. Butterworth.

Buying a new calendar is a tough decision. You have to live with it for a whole year. It's November and I'm sick of the Family Guy. I'm hoping that next year's calendar, "Twelve months of Borat" stands the test of time better.

A period is a common misconception.