1 Happy St

- Have you ever heard anyone use the word "preposterous" in real life? I haven’t. I’ve only heard it in movies when rich white businessmen are getting fired.

- I was walking on cloud 8 earlier this morning. As I approached cloud 9, I stopped and turned around. You know, because fuck cloud 9.

- I busted out my fall jacket for the first time and there was a $10 bill in the pocket. Normally I’d be happy, but I couldn’t help but think that with the dollar value being where it is today versus last spring, this was kind of like cashing in stock options after a market crash.

- Things are easier said than done, unless you’re an antidisestablishmentarianist.

- Someone in the neighborhood was cooking with charcoal last night. Two thoughts crossed my mind. One was "Mmm, I love that smell". The other was "who the hell still uses charcoal?" God bless them though.

- Jill and I were watching the news last week and she heard that the Bulls had lost their first preseason game. Her reaction: "wait, basketball already? Fu*king baseball just ended!" I feel for her. Really I do.

- Deep dish pizza is an insult to pizza. Nobody will convince me otherwise.

- I’m back to eating Dove ice cream bars. Oh how I missed thee. If you buy them, make sure you get them with chocolate ice cream though. I’d bathe in it if it was socially acceptable. Actually it’s just the cost that’s holding me back.

- I like Brian Billick as a football commentator, but someone needs to explain to him where the red zone is. He was attributing it to every time the offense made it past midfield.

- I could never be one of the street interviews for the E! News fact or fiction segment. When the host would say to me "Mariah Carey is trying to get pregnant, fact or fiction", I would look right into the camera and say "who gives a shit?"

- On that note, remember that crime pays if you’re good at it.