Monday, July 14, 2008
Got enough material for another Legend follow-up
by Anonymous at 4:41 PM
Two weeks ago, I gave you this. It went over pretty well and inspired this later that day. Both of those posts inspired emails to me from thousands of strangers (okay 4) telling me that they too know of a person just like The Legend. The overwhelming (er, underwhelming) response made me wish that I could remember the rest of his stories. I knew that there were more of them that I had failed to save. Thankfully, with the help of co-workers and friends who knew him best, I was able to come up with 6 more. Again, my comments in italics. Enjoy.
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"I was up over $10,000 my first day [in Vegas], but I lost it all on one double or nothing hand of blackjack." – Again, he was not rich. At least not for real. So betting $10,000 on one hand, regardless of whether or not it was house money, never would have happened. Also, I’m told he was confused when asked about the tax implications of being up $10,000 in the first place.
"You don’t need a dumpster. Just give some side-money to your garbage man. I had a garage full of garbage once, so I bribed my garbage man with $50 and he took everything out of there for me." – told to a co-worker who was pricing the cost of renting a dumpster after remodeling his kitchen. You have to admit, this makes sense. I’m so trying it if I ever need one.
"I saw [our boss's boss at the time] at the grocery store. He slapped me on the ass and said 'how ya doin [Legend]?' I just grabbed my food and kept walking."
"I've bowled a 300 game. Weird part is I've never broken 250 since." A Legend staple. The key to a good lie is in the details. Start by over-selling it, then reel us back in with the under-sell. I guess that's why he's The Legend and you're not.
"I got kicked out of the Police Academy."
"I got an Xbox. My uncle has a friend who reviews video games and he got one for us." – spoken by The Legend about a month prior to Microsoft’s release of their Xbox gaming system.
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And with that, The Legend ends. Thanks for reading.
I think when he said "I got kicked out of the Police Academy" he was talking about the matinee at the cineplex.