Friday, July 21, 2006
If sports figures actually spoke the truth
by Anonymous at 12:49 PM
-Cubs manager Dusty Baker said Derek Lee's still-healing right wrist may not be fully healed until the 2007 season. “I’m going to continue playing him this year though, even if it means possibly ruining his wrist even more because I’m probably getting fired soon anyway,” said Baker.
-Former Major Leaguer Jose Canseco retired only one batter Tuesday night while giving up four runs in the first All-Star game in the Independent Golden Baseball League. “I'm going to take these guys out and get them drunk," he said, motioning toward his teammates in the locker room. "I'm going to buy about 400 gallons of beer. Then when they are passed out, I'm going to secretly inject them with steroids and write about it in my next book.” (courtesy of Don)
-Yankees 3rd baseman Alex Rodriguez committed a personal worst 3 errors in one game earlier this week. Asked to comment, general manager Brian Cashman said, “The worst move I ever made was trading Alfonso Soriano for this pansy. And you’re talking to the same guy who gave max deals to Kevin Brown and Carl Pavano. I wonder if we can collect insurance if someone Gillooly's his knees.”
-Barry Bonds escaped indictment for perjury Thursday, and his lawyer thinks that a lack of evidence is the only reason that could have happened. “That can’t be," said Bonds. "If that really is the case, I’m baffled. I mean really, have you seen my head?”
-The Cleveland Indians traded veteran closer Bob Wickman to the Braves on Thursday, getting minor league catcher Max Ramirez in return. Said Indians GM Mark Shapiro, “Yeah, we were surprised to get anything in return for Bob, so getting Ramirez was a bonus. To be honest, we were going to cut that fat bastard if we couldn’t find a team willing to trade for him.”
-The Blue Jays designated 3rd baseman Shea Hillenbrand for assignment after he wrote “the ship is sinking” on a clubhouse bulletin board. “We are a better team without him,” said Blue Jays GM J.P. Ricciardi. “I would rather lose than sell myself out to have someone play here that says those type of things about the organization.” (wait, he actually DID say that. Never mind.)
