1 Happy St

I guess this has been out for a while, but I just saw the commercial for the first time a few days ago. It's monopoly with a friggin debit card. Um, we don't accept cash here, but we accept all major credit cards and/or debits. Also, that property you bought at the beginning of the game has dropped in value by 50% while your taxes have gone up, so you just defaulted on your mortgage. WAAAA waaaa! To help pay your bills, you tried to rob the convenient store at the corner but you got caught and now you're in jail. Oops. Too bad there's no longer any get out of jail free cards. No, if you want to get out of jail, you'll have to over-spend for hot-shot lawyer or get a Presidential pardon. It's Monopoly 2008-style! Woo hoo!

What will they think up next? Nobody says "sorry" anymore, so can they change the name of that game to something like "I'm sorry if anyone happened to be offended"? How about instead of "Chutes and Ladders", we have "Chutes and Elevators"? A kid today isn't gonna climb a ladder. And what the fuck is a chute for that matter? Just call it Elevators and Slides.

Candyland? Can we change Candyland? I guess not much has changed with candy except for maybe gum drops. I don't think I've ever eaten a gum drop, so I doubt kids today are eating them. Okay fine, gum drops will change to chewy sweet tarts. Mmm, chewy sweet tarts.