1 Happy St

We're approaching that time of year, so if I had just one wish that I could wish this holiday season, it would be that all the children of the world to join hands and sing together in the spirit of harmony and peace.

If I had two wishes that I could make this holiday season, the first would be for all the children of the world to join hands and sing in the spirit of harmony and peace. And the second would be for 30 million dollars a month to be given to me, tax-free, in a Swiss bank account.

You know, if I had three wishes that I could make this holiday season, the first, of course, would be for all the children to get together and sing, the second would be for the 30 million dollars every month to me, and the third would be for all encompassing power over every living being in the entire universe.

And if I had four wishes that I could make this holiday season, the first would be the crap about the kids. Definitely. The second would be for the 30 million, the third would be for all the power, and the fourth would be to set aside one month each year to have an extended 31-day orgasm, to be brought about slowly by Rosanna Arquette and that model Paulina Somebody, I can't think of her name. Of course my lovely wife can come too. She's behind me one hundred percent on this, I guarantee it.

Wait a minute, maybe that sex thing should be the first wish, so if I made that the first wish, y'know 'cause it could all go boom tomorrow, then what do you got, y'know? No no, the kids, the kids singing would be great, that, that would be nice. But wait a minute, who am I kidding? I mean they're not going to be able to get all those kids together. I mean the logistics of the thing is impossible, more trouble than it's worth. So we reorganize.

Here we go; first, the sex thing. We go with that. Second, the money. No, we go with the power second, then the money, and then the kids. Oh wait, oh jeez, I forgot about revenge against my enemies. Okay, I need revenge against all my enemies, they should die like pigs in hell. That would be the fourth wish. And of course, my fifth wish would be for all the children of the world to join hands and sing together in the spirit of harmony and peace.

Thank you Everybody and Merry Christmas.