Thursday, September 25, 2008

You need a kleenex for that? Or a beach towel?

Whenever I blow my nose, I strive to make the clown's horn sound. It never fails to get good laughs.

It really sucks to be at work with a head cold. I took some of that Mucinex stuff which Jill said would suppress my cough. Huge understatement. All day long my face has looked like someone just poured a bucket of water on me. Only it wasn't a bucket of water; it was a bucket of nasty mucus. Have I painted a clear enough picture for you? Is that how you spell mucus? It doesn't look right. Let's call it phlegm. Is that how you spell phlegm? Why isn't it spelled flem? I think I've talked about that once before. It's funny that mucus and phlegm are both hard to spell. We should come up with a new word for the stuff that's in your throat during a head cold. How about bunk? It's easy to spell. It sounds nasty. Man I've been coughing up bunk all morning. I like it.

Jill's the best. She had already gone off to work by the time I woke up, but she had all kinds of meds lined up on the counter waiting for me. The problem though is that I'm a complete moron who can't take care of himself and I don't read instructions. She didn't line them up for me so that I'd take them all. No, she lined them up so that I could pick and choose which one's to take based on my symptoms when I woke up. So when I got into work, she called me and our conversation went like this:
Jill: Oh, you made it, good. How do you feel?
Me: Like I was hit by a bus. But getting better.
Jill: Did you take something?
Me: Yeah, I took the Motrin. And the Mucinex. And the Afrin.
Jill: Wait, ALL of those?.
Me: Uh.....yeah.
Jill: You weren't supposed to take all of that.
Me: Oh.......should I be worried?
Jill: Um........I'm sure you're fine.

How hasn't Darwin found me yet?

I feel bad for her though because by the weekend, I'm gonna feel great and she's gonna feel like how I felt yesterday and today. Sorry Jill.

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