1 Happy St

Ok. I'm officially a horrible person. This story cracked me up.

Soon after the lights went down, a source tells us, "a man in the audience started yelling, 'Don't touch me!' People looked around and shrugged. Ten minutes later, the voice yells again, 'I said don't touch me!'"

Again, people shrugged off the disturbance. But a few minutes later, says our source, "the guy stands up in the darkness and thwacks the guy behind him with a big festival binder. He hit him so hard everybody could hear it. Everyone freaked out and turned around."

Poor defenseless Roger Ebert got bitch slapped for tapping another film critic at a recent movie screening.

Apparently Ebert, who has suffered bouts of cancer that have rendered him unable to speak, was tapping the guy in front of him to move his humungus melon so Ebert could see the screen. The guy turns around and clocks Ebert with a Trapper Keeper. Dude hasn't apologized either.

Several questions...
Ebert isn't deaf. He heard the guy say "Don't touch me!" So why did he keep touching him?
Secondly, wasn't anyone else there with Ebert that could have told Big Head to move?
And why couldn't Ebert just slip the guy a note or something.. "Please move your head, I can't see the screen. Love, Roger."

"I SAID STOP WRITING ME NOTES!!!!!"