Friday, December 21, 2007

Happy Festivus!

Since Festivus falls on Sunday this year, I figured I would air my grievances today.

The Airing of Grievances
To Brian...
I don't like how you post so much so I look like a slacker to our readers! WTF?

To our readers... (that means you, Jane, Molly, Maygan, Erin, Tricia, Ridgeway and Jeremy, etc.)...
If you like what you read here, go tell some other people about this site!!!!

To everyone on TV...
Stop shouting!

To the guy in the cubicle next to mine...
Stop singing!

To the guy at the mall dressed like Eminem...
You're not fooling anyone!

To the guy at the mall dressed like Santa...
Neither are you!

To White Sox General Manager, Kenny Williams...
Don't you think we're going to need a centerfielder?

To White Sox Centerfielder, Brian Anderson...
No!

To the guy that leaves 6 inches of snow on top of his car and then gets on the highway so we can all drive behind him in his wake of wind-blown snow...
You should be sterilized.

To the next person that says to me, "Cold enough for you?"...
Duck.

To the people that take their kids to JC Penney to get their pictures taken on a Saturday three weeks before Christmas and then complain that the wait is too long...
Maybe you could go outside and clean the snow off the roof of your car while you wait.

To people that claim to still watch The Simpsons...
No you don't. Nobody does.

To people that save gift bows...
Really? That thing cost about twenty cents.

That's all for this year...

Now, it's time for the Feats of Strength... Who wants to arm wrestle?

1 comments:

  1. Jane Says:

    Regarding the grievance against your readers....

    FYI: I DO tell people about the blog. There would be no Maygan reader without Jane. And I also forward lots of blog posts to people. It's not my fault they do not comment as zealously as I do!

    (I just got to use my word of the day, and it's only 10 am!)