1 Happy St

- Seeing two guys holding hands during the couple’s skate made me laugh every time. It was pretty simple and obvious I know, but still comedy gold as far as I was concerned.

- Boo to the guy who worked there who would always make them leave the floor, but bravo to the DJ for following that up with two Technotronic songs in a row. Pump up the jam, pump it up, while your feet are stompin'.

- By the way, if you're a DJ and you got your start at a roller rink, do you even put that on your resume'? I didn’t think so.

- If you're going to shovel snow with your stomach, you'd better be sure there are no cracks in your driveway. That's all I'm saying.

- Why does a plain hot dog cost the same as a hot dog with everything? And yet, if I order a plain hot dog and ask them to put cheese on it, they'll charge me an extra 40 cents.

- SNL has to be the greatest Tivo show ever. I can skip all the commercials, the musical guest, the opening monologue if the host sucks, and pretty much every lame sketch between Weekend Update and the last one. Basically, I can watch 90 minutes of television in about 12 or 13. You gotta love that.

- I don't have any cute buttons. At least I don't think. But I do have this zipper that's pretty hot.

- I don't mind spray butter, but I hate the look I get from Jill after I spray something 20 or 30 times.

- Last Christmas I left a bottle of wine in my mailbox for my mailman, but he didn't take it. It stayed there for two days in a row before I ended up taking it back. Maybe he's a recovering alcoholic. I wonder if he was pissed.

- Every time I see the Wendy's commercial for the new Baconator sandwich, I kind of throw up in my mouth a little bit.

- It's not officially the Christmas season until cousin Eddie kidnaps Clark's boss for the first time. Hopefully TBS will be getting us there soon.

- Speaking of Christmas, how much does it suck that it falls on a Tuesday this year? One day off? Son of a bitch. How much would it affect our GDP if we all took 2 full weeks off like schools do?

- What is the proper response to a person from the south who is complaining that the temperature earlier in the week dipped into the 40's?

- I wonder why the cable companies decided that the TV should be on channel 3. Why not 2? Or 6? Or 1? Wait, is there a channel 1? I don't think there is. What the hell?

- Okay, I think I'm done here. Until next time, [generic inspirational quote that I could not think of right now].