Tuesday, September 19, 2006
If sports figures really spoke the truth
by Anonymous at 4:54 PM
Bears rookie cornerback Danieal Manning had another good game on Sunday, this after getting an interception in Week 1 against Green Bay. Asked how he’s been able to make the transition to the NFL such a smooth one so far, Manning said, “I hate my first name; it gives me motivation.”
Maurice Clarett’s agent is undecided about the former Ohio State running back’s future in the NFL after he agreed to a 3.5 year prison term. “I do know that he’s not retired,” said the agent. “He’ll be in prison for 3 years, which means he can’t kill any real citizens. So that’s good news.”
The Denver Post reports that the Portland Trailblazers might have interest in a potential sign-and-trade for free-agent DerMarr Johnson. Said the Blazers GM, “We don't have enough mediocre, overpaid also-rans that nobody has ever heard of, and DerMarr fits that bill perfectly.”
According to the Denver Post, the Nuggets are making a strong push to fill their shooting guard position with Bonzi Wells. Said the Nuggets GM, “We don't have enough mediocre and overpaid guys on our team that everyone thinks is good even though they aren’t and their teams never win, and we feel that Bonzi fits that bill perfectly.”
Detroit Lions coach Rod Marinelli was asked what his team can do against Green Bay this Sunday to avoid starting the season 0-3. “Don’t talk to me about that right now,” he said. “I have more important things to worry about, like my teeth. I mean honestly, have you seen these things? They’re hideous.”
American tennis player Andy Roddick has consulted with former great Pete Sampras for advice on how to win the Davis Cup in Moscow. Asked to comment, Sampras said “yeah, he approached me for advice, but I turned him away. He sucks and I don’t want his busted ass ruining my legacy.”
The White Sox appear on the brink of elimination from the playoffs, one year after winning the World Series, and as a lot of expert’s preseason favorites to repeat. Asked if they could be considered underachievers, White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen said, “F_ck you. You can go f_ck yourself for all I care. People say we win da World Series last year but we sh_t now, well that’s fine. I will take da blame. I no blame my players. They no underachieve; I underachieve. My coaches underachieve. Sh_t. All year I hear the same sh_t. Well f_ck you.”
Some things never change.
