1 Happy St

Marc: Hey Brian, do you know Dan's last name?
Me: Which Dan?
Marc: Dan Martin.
Me: Wait, what?
Marc: Never mind, I guess I know it.
[short pause]
Marc: Oh great, this is gonna end up on your blog, isn't it?
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I would never.

I was just on a conference call with a guy named Sharif Mohammad and a guy named Mohammad Sharif. They had never spoken with one another before or heard of the other. This made everyone smile. Well for about 5 seconds or so. It's the little things.

There's a new guy in my office whose name is Robert. His email signature says "Robert (Bob)". I'm not sure why I'm telling you this; I just think it's funny. I'm not calling him either of those though. From this day forward, he is officially Bobert.

There's a guy who works for my company out of St. Louis whose name is Brian Dull. Of course that was the same name I received as a kid from classmates who were trying to offend me. So just seeing his name kinda gives me the shivers [not really].

Also, there's a guy from Illinois who had his name legally changed to In God We Trust. Here is the link to the story from last month of him trying to get it changed. I heard on the radio this morning that it went through. So congratulations In God. I hope if there's ever a future Mrs. We Trust that she will be as thrilled with the name as you are.

I think if I were to ever go to the trouble of changing my name, I'd change the spelling, but not the pronounciation. Like I'd still be called Brian, but I'd spell it P-E-T-E-R or something. Then when people would see my name in print, they'd call me Peter and I could say "uh, that's pronounced Brian" and then they'd be all confused. That'd be fun.

Shutting it now.

It's a good thing that Amerigo Vespucci's name wasn't something like "Darren".

Is there anything one can usurp other than authority?

I am habitually blaming my inclinations on my predispositions.

Every year at this time, Arby's sells glasses. They don't have a logo or advertisement on them. They're just glasses. I don't have a joke here. I just don't get it.

Often we have product names derive generic terms from the original brand. For example, geezers will often call a refigerator a "Frigidaire" regardless of the name brand.

I can understand this, but I have always wondered why you never see it the other way around. Why aren't there more brand names derived from generic terms. If I owned company that made beer, I'd call it "Cold One".

Taking this even further, products could be named after what they are. "When you're at The Store, why don't you pick up Some Eggs." You'd never have to advertise! Anyone have any other ideas?

I've read that a good way to keep your cat off the furniture or counter tops is to spray them in the face with a water bottle. I'm not sure if that works on cats, but it seems to be helping keep people out of my cubicle.

I think we need to retire the phrase "everyone and their mother". The only time that expression ever really works is in response to the question, "Who's going to be at the mother-son picnic?"

What do you take if you break out in hives from taking Benadryl?

Nobody names their dog "Spot" anymore. Spot is like the dog version of Wally.

I was watching C-SPAN and I noticed that Congress still uses "aye" and "nay" instead of just using the common English words, "yes" and "no". I don't really have a joke here, but I do think it's just another example of how Congress is stupid.

When I die, I want to be cremated and put in an urn with a bunch of springy snakes.