1 Happy St

Via here:

NEW YORK, New York -- Jeremy Piven is ending his run in Broadway's "Speed-the-Plow," due to a condition caused by a high mercury count, according to Variety.

The "Entourage" star missed a Tuesday evening performance and a Wednesday matinee due to his high mercury count health concerns, but David Mamet, the playwright of "Speed-the-Plow," appears skeptical of the actor's exit.

"I talked to Jeremy on the phone, and he told me that he discovered that he had a very high level of mercury," Mamet told the entertainment trade mag. "So my understanding is that he is leaving show business to pursue a career as a thermometer."

David Mamet gets a gold star.

From the Miami Herald:

A Miami-Dade jury has awarded almost $1.2 million to a 21-year-old man hit in the groin by a batting-cage pitch. Lhyvann Felipe, who was 19 years old at the time, was hit in the groin by a 60 mph pitch. He was hospitalized several days later. The ball struck him after an employee [of the place] asked him to go back into the batting cage to help pick up the balls. The machine, which had already completed the cycle and did not have the lights on, spit out the ball, which hit him. The judgment called for Felipe to be paid $160,000 for medical expenses and $1 million for pain and suffering.

I have a couple thoughts after reading this:
1. What kind of busted place is this that makes you retrieve your own balls? Doesn't that defeat the purpose?
2. Even if I was collecting my own balls at a batting cage, I still wouldn’t be walking in front of that son-bitch regardless of whether or not the cycle was over. That defies Rule #18 in my big book of personal rules that are based on the movie series "Final Destination", which is "Never put yourself in a position that could potentially allow a machine to act out on its own and kill you".

This rule is also responsible for me never going near a shower, a dentist, an elevator, a fire escape, a roller coaster, or sporting equipment thats hanging in the rafters of a garage.

h/t TBL

An 18-year-old man stole $17.50 from a group of kids selling lemonade. One of the kids chased the man down into a home and waited there until the police arrived. An hour later, the man surrendered and was arrested. He was charged with felony burglary.

A few thoughts here:

1. Isn't it weird to read 18-year-old MAN? I remember when I was 18. I was no man. Neither is this guy. Stealing lemonade money from kids disqualifies you.

2. FELONY burglary? Stealing less than $20 from a group of kids is a felony? Holy crap!

3. The kid who chased this "man" is a badass. But a badass whose parents probably need to tell her that what she did was foolish.

Yowza!

SAO PAULO, Brazil - Officials in northeastern Brazil say they confiscated the equivalent of more than $170,000 and two pistols from an imprisoned drug trafficker whose jail cell was equipped with a plasma TV set, a refrigerator and gym equipment.

Jose Francisco Leite, head of the state of Bahia's Prison Affairs Department, said the "posh prison life" Genilson Lins da Silva led came to an abrupt end on Monday when police raided his cell as part of a statewide crackdown on drug trafficking.

Leite said Tuesday authorities have ordered an investigation to find out how Silva got the money and guns into his cell.

They raided his cell? Like with guns blazing and stuff? Why not just walk up to him from the other side of the bars and say something like "yo Silva, up against the wall"? Instead, it sounds more like they arrested him. While he was in jail. I'm so confused.