Wednesday, August 16, 2006
If sports figures actually spoke the truth
by Anonymous at 11:59 AM
Oakland A’s owner Lewis Wolff has been nothing short of ecstatic over the recent performance of DH Frank Thomas, who was signed in the offseason. "It would be very sad if we didn't bring him back,” said Wolff. “He's been a great presence for us on and off the field." Told of Wolff’s comments, White Sox GM Kenny Williams laughed and said, “yeah, just wait until November when [Thomas] starts demanding A-Rod money.”
Chicago Cubs left-hander Rich Hill was forced into 2 innings of work in last night's 18-inning game against the Astros, even though he is scheduled to start today. "He'll still be ready to go [today]," said Dusty Baker. "I'll try to keep him under 100 pitches though."
The aftershocks of the brawl at the Palace of Auburn Hills in November 2004 continue to be felt. Ron Artest, who helped ignite the fury by going into the stands to confront a fan, begins five days of community service today as part of his court-ordered punishment. "Does Boy George think he's better than me?" screamed Artest. (courtesy of Donald)
Free Agent power forward Lonny Baxter (formerly of the Charlotte Bobcats) was arrested late Tuesday after shots were seen fired from his moving vehicle. Said Baxter, "I am without a contract right now, so I was hoping to attract some attention from the TrailBlazers.” In response to Baxter, Blazers coach Nate McMillan said, “we appreciate the gesture by Lonny, but all he needed was a simple marijuana possession charge. This was a little over the top.”
Red Sox outfielder Wily Mo Pena made a crucial error in right field on Tuesday night, allowing the eventual game-winning run to score in their 3-2 loss to the Tigers. "I can't believe I have a job in this league," said Pena. "I play baseball like an uncoordinated uncle at a family picnic. 
All I'm missing is a beer in my non-glove hand."
Tiger Woods was asked what he thinks his chances are of winning the PGA Championship at Medina this weekend. "I don't like to make predictions," said Tiger. "But if I can stay focused on my game and not on Phil [Mickelson]'s man-boobs, I should be okay."
