1 Happy St

Where did waiters and waitresses get the idea that we're impressed when they try to memorize our orders? I'm not impressed. Are you? In fact, I'd much rather they didn't even try. Just write it down!!! That way I don't have to spend the next 20 minutes worrying if the doofus got it right. The stress he's causing me by just trying to remember instead of jotting my order down far outweighs how impressed I'd be if he actually manages to bring me exactly what I ordered.

Let's face it... chances are pretty good that he's going to screw it up either way, but at least if he writes it down, it gives me the idea that he's trying to get it right. Really I don't even care if he's standing there writing, "This guy is a dick! Who orders a BLT with out tomatoes?" I just want the security of thinking that he's writing down "BLT minus T". Then I can enjoy my complimentary breadsticks in peace.

1. I'm named after my dad who was named after Gregory Peck who's real name was actually Eldred.
2. I'm afraid of squirrels. They have rabies.
3. When I was a kid, I took swimming lessons three summers in a row. I still can't swim.
4. I like to eat potatoes raw.
5. I've never eaten a Big Mac.
6. I have memorized the movie, Steel Magnolias.

Thanks,
Eldred

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• I'd give my left arm to be ambidextrous.