1 Happy St

Before you leave for the weekend, I'd like for you to read something. Now it'll only be funny if you're a Lions fan. Wait, no. It'll only be funny if you're a football fan. If you're a Lions fan, it'll be tragic. Enjoy.

Try to pick a favorite part. Could it be where Millen says "what we're doing is the right thing to do"? Yeah that's good. But for my money, the best part is where Millen says that he believes in coach Rod Marinelli because "he's consistent". Excellent.

Matt Millen is the gift that keeps on giving. Unless you're a Lions fan. Then he's 8 straight years of getting kicked in the nuts.

Here is a couple pictures of the football field where Brian and I went to high school. Apparently there was a flood. Too bad September only has 30 days... (sorry, that's an incredibly inside joke)

One final Super Bowl-related thought and then I'll put this topic to bed - afterwards we always find out what the ratings for the game were and how they stack up against past Super Bowls and other top-rated programs. According to USA Today, the game drew 97.5 million viewers nationwide - the most ever for a Super Bowl. It was also the 2nd most national viewers for any television program ever, behind the series finale of "M-A-S-H" in 1983 that drew 106 million.

Question though - how can anybody know if this is accurate? I was only 4 in 1983, so I don't remember how big of an event the series finale of M-A-S-H was. Based on the numbers, I can see it was a big deal. But were people packing sports bars around the country to watch it? I can see how they can make a pretty accurate guess that 106 million people watched M-A-S-H, but how in the world can you account for packed sports bars watching the Super Bowl? I watched the game at a dive bar last year that can fit 85 people or so, and this place had to have been at 85 and then some. I can only imagine that just about every sports bar across the country would have been operating under similar circumstances. So how do all of those people get counted? Is it just a guess? And if so, what's the point?

My guess is that sports programs must be getting the shaft when it comes to television ratings.

- That girl from American Idol looked nervous. I don’t know what she had to be scared of; it’s not like anybody was watching.

- I’m glad she pulled it off flawlessly though. I think I’ve said this before, but there are few things as uncomfortable as when the singer of our National Anthem starts to screw it up. Once she was finished, I think I was just as relieved as she was. Or maybe not.

- I’d give my right arm to stop all this hyperbole.

- I’m sure there’s a better way to construct that joke, but I couldn’t think of it. And this site is free so leave me alone.

- Do the production folks of the Super Bowl realize that there has been music released since the late 80’s? Tom Petty? It looked like he was 100 years old.

- The weird thing about Tom Petty though is that when he was 30, he looked 100. Then when he was 40, he looked 100. And now that he’s 57 he still looks 100. I guess what I’m saying is that in 43 years, he should be fine.

- Last month Greg and I set the record for most posts in 1 month with 55. Congratulations to us.

- That was Donkey Lips, wasn’t it? Upon further review, yes it was.

- I’ve taken my fair share of rain checks, but I don’t think I’ve ever given one. I think I might be interested in something like that.

- You can't tell me that the 0:16 thru 0:26 mark of the halftime show didn't have some sexual innuendo going on. Well you can, but I won't believe you.

- Before the game, people were making Eli Manning and Rex Grossman comparisons. After the game, the only comparison that still rings true is that they both still suck. Except for Eli.

- Watching football with my mom is like watching football with my mom. There is no simile quite like it. Only she can tell you who she was rooting for; I think it was the blue guys.

- Until next time…..

With the Super Bowl only 4 days away, I was going to use this forum to give you a feel-good football story. But since I was unable to find a feel-good football story*, I have decided to give you the exact opposite. I am going to introduce you to TE Jerramy Stevens, formerly of the Seattle Seahawks** and current member of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.

* A feel-good football story for me would be Tom Brady with a shattered femur. Or a variation of that kind of pain. I've never shattered my femur, but I imagine the pain would be excruciating. I dislike the Patriots so much that I have now reached the point where I am wishing pain on Tom Brady. And the weird part is I don't even dislike him. I just dislike his team. And for that I wish him serious physical pain. I think I may be a bad person.

** Did the Seahawks originally call themselves the Seahawks because the word 'seahawk' starts out with S-E-A and so does Seattle? Or did they call themselves the Seahawks because the town itself is known for a lot of seahawks? Because if that's the case, I think the Seattle Osprey's would have been a better name.

Anyway, Jerramy Stevens is a TE for Tampa Bay. A glimpse into his life can be found here. I urge you to read as much of that story as you can without finding out which town Jerramy lives in, flying there, renting a car, driving to his house, getting out of your car, walking up his walkway, reaching his front door, knocking on it, waiting for him to open it, and then punching him square in the face.

Enjoy.

Or don't enjoy. It's awful. The man is a joke. He's not even a man. My schadenfreude towards Tom Brady has now officially been passed on to Jerramy Stevens.

oh and.... Happy 700th post to us!

- Wait, we're a sports blog?

- Pointed out by hotfootblog, Eddie Murphy may have been a prophet in 'Coming to America'. Oh sir, the Giants of New York took on the Packers of Green Bay. And in the end, the Giants triumphed by kicking an oblong ball made of pigskin through a big "H". It was a most ripping victory. Weird.

- Quote from me after that Lawrence Tynes guy kicked the winning field goal after missing his previous two: "Great, now we're gonna have to put up with all those newspaper headlines tomorrow that say 'third Tynes a charm'".

- Tom Coughlin looked like his face was about to fall off.

- The Dodgers have reached a 1-year deal with relief pitcher Proctor. Hightower had no comment.

- Hey that was baseball.

- There's something great about being able to watch a football player's runny nose in HD. Wait did I say great? I mean completely horrible.

- I cannot make sense of that Subway commercial where the guy gets called into his boss's office to explain his travel expenses. I don't have any receipts, but let me turn around and show you my big ass. Yeah I don't get it. Worst. Commercial. Ever.

- Remember last year when I changed my mind and said that I'd rather have my team not make the Super Bowl than lose in the Super Bowl? I've changed my mind again. Having no rooting interest in the Super Bowl whatsoever is kind of like being a date to a wedding where you don't know anybody. Oh well. Go Giants I guess.

As if losing in the NCAA National Championship Game two consecutive years weren't bad enough, it seems as if Ohio State's cheerleaders may need to retake remedial spelling.

If they came from one of those hard-to-spell states like Mississippi or Massachusetts, one might be more willing to forgive them, but this is ridiculous!

Yes, it's real... and it's SPECTACULAR!

Go Blue!

In case you hadn't heard, the University of Michigan football team lost on Saturday to Appalachian State University, 34-32. The storied Michigan team, which has won more college football games than any other school, began the game ranked 5th in the nation and was considered a contender for a Bowl Championship Series game, if not the National Championship game itself. With many returning starters, Michigan was set to improve on their 2006 season which saw them lose only once in the regular season en route to the Rose Bowl.

That's all gone now.

After one game, Michigan now finds itself as the laughingstock of the entire sports world by losing to a school that most people had never heard of in front of their home fans. I was one of those fans and I will tell you that the walk back to the car after the game on Saturday was a true walk of shame.

To put it in perspective, the entire population of Boone, NC, where Appalachian State University is located, is 13,328. It would take EIGHT Boone, NCs to fill up Michigan Stadium. In actuality, there were only several hundred Mountaineer fans in attendance, but their celebration was loud enough to fill the Big House as the 109,000+ Michigan fans exited in stunned silence.

Under the current BCS system, a single loss almost certainly eliminates a team from contention for the National Championship. One can easily conclude that a single loss to an unknown team has wiped out any hope that Michigan ever had for 2007. National sports media has already labeled it the biggest upset in the history of college football. I can't say I disagree with them. It is simply an embarrassing time to be a Michigan fan.

To be fair to the kids at Appalachian State, they played a remarkable game, and by all accounts, they are a very good team. ASU is the two-time defending Division I-AA National Champion, meaning for the last two seasons, they were the best of the schools you'd never heard of. Which begs the question of Michigan: If you are going to schedule a "warm-up game" against a supposed cream puff opponent, why would you schedule it against the best one? Never mind that a team of Michigan's stature has no business losing to a team like ASU, why even take the risk? The risk far outweighs the reward of winning a game against the likes of Appalachian State.

Michigan now has the arduous task of preparing for a game against the Oregon Ducks, with Notre Dame and Penn State after that. It's going to be a very long season.