1 Happy St

The Columbus Dispatch is running a poll with the following question:

If there were a guarantee that the Dow would be at 13,000 on Monday, Nov. 24, if Ohio State loses to Michigan on Nov. 22, would you make that deal?

I voted 'yes' just so I could see the results, and this is what it gave me:

Yes 42%
No 58%

Now to be fair, where the Dow is at probably doesn't affect most people's day-to-day lives all that much (unless of course they're invested in a Dow company). But it is an indicator of how our stock market is doing. So yes, these results are quite interesting.

Nice to see fans of The Ohio State University have their priorities in order.

h/t Craig C.

- Marty Brennaman is a jackass. His hyperbole doesn't impress me.

- The Blue Jays released DH Frank Thomas on Sunday. Today there's a poll question on the Chicago Sun-Times' on-line site that asks its readers: "Should the Sox pursue Frank Thomas?" The 2 options they give are: "Yes, he can still hit" and "No, he has a bad attitude." Uh, what about "No, they already have Jim Thome, who is also a DH and is better than Frank Thomas"? How am I smarter when it comes to sports than a major newspaper's sports department?

- By the way, May 25th is Frank Thomas bobblehead day in Toronto. That should be fun.

- Bears linebacker Brian Urlacher says the team offered him a one-year extension through 2012, believed to include at least $5 million up front and an extra $1 million added to each year remaining on his current deal. But he wants at least a two-year extension with more money up front. In other words, he has no bargaining power whatsoever and the Bears could call his bluff and tell him to go away without giving him anything, but he's still holding out. Way to be a role model to your teammates there Big Guy. By the way, would the Pillsbury Dough Boy be considered a good roll model? Get it? 'Cause he models rolls? Hey make fun of it if you'd like, but you're gonna try to use it.

- If the baseball season ended today, the White Sox and the Cubs would both make the playoffs for the first time since 1906. Also, the playoffs would be held in April for the first time ever.

So who else is sick of sports right now? Every one of them has some kind of controversy going on. MLB and the Tour-de-France has steroids, the NFL has dog fighting and DUI's and strip-club shootings, and now the NBA has allegations of gambling. Please tell me I don't have to start following soccer.

No, that can't happen. I need my real sports back. So hear me out as I share with you my radical idea on how to fix all this. Everyone involved in these sports should embrace their lack of morals and make everything legal. You want to gamble on the score and shave points? Do it. It will add an element to the game that's unpredictable to the fans. You want to bulk up on 'roids and hit 100 HR's? Go for it. Everyone likes HR's. You want to go to a strip club and shoot a bunch of strippers? Hey, who am I to say that's wrong? Light their hair on fire for all I care. But if it's legal, we can all stop reading about it and just go back to watching the games. No more "Outside the Lines" specials. No more "HBO Real Sports" controversies. I want to see ridiculous calls by referrees, crazy 600 foot home runs, and dead strippers. Call me crazy? No, call me American.