1 Happy St

Wait, Barack Obama is only 47 years old? Wow that's young. And he's from Hawaii? That's gotta be a first, right? No wonder people are making a big deal about this.

For security concerns, Barack Obama may have to give up his BlackBerry. From the NYT:

For years, like legions of other professionals, Mr. Obama has been all but addicted to his BlackBerry. The device has rarely been far from his side to provide a singular conduit to the outside world as the bubble around him grew tighter and tighter throughout his campaign. But before he arrives at the White House, he will probably be forced to sign off. In addition to concerns about e-mail security, he faces the Presidential Records Act, which puts his correspondence in the official record and ultimately up for public review, and the threat of subpoenas. A decision has not been made on whether he could become the first e-mailing president, but aides said that seemed doubtful.....aides said he hopes to have a laptop computer on his desk in the Oval Office, making him the first American president to do so.

The first e-mailing President? A laptop computer? He's so techy. What next, a VCR?

Via here: John McCain and Barack Obama will be interviewed by [gulp] Chris Berman on Monday. Those interviews will air at halftime of the MNF game on ESPN and will "give both candidates a last major chance to appeal to Americans during a coveted spot on prime-time television."

Oy.

For fun, I am going to predict how those interviews will go based on fairly obvious and unfunny characterizations of all 3 guys. Why am I doing this? Hey don't ask questions. Here we go:

Chris: "I'm being joined now by John McCain and Abel and Barack Olabama Crimson Tide. Thanks for joining me Gentlemen."

McCain: "The pleasure is all mine, my friend."

Barack: "I'm a socialist."

Okay I gave up. I was going to do a whole thing there, but I ended up working through lunch today and I just didn't have time. I never even came up with anything for Obama to say, so I just went with 'I'm a socialist'. Whatev's. I debated even publishing this, but it's here, so I said screw it. Feel free to predict the rest of the conversation if you'd like and post it in the comments.

And since I don't want to leave you here empty-handed, click the play button on the youtube clip below for a totally underrated 1990's song that you're sure to enjoy.

If you were only able to catch one of the debates, don't worry. You got the gist.

Via here

http://view.break.com/564602 - Watch more free videos

I don't know who this Hugh Atkin guy is who put this video together, but I like his style. His video is 7 shades of brilliance.

About Barack Obama's elitism - [He] has bought into the concept that Barack Obama is too elitist and not at all like the real and authentic folk. Well, first off, there’s the sickening absurdity of the whole elitist concept — the man is RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT. Of course he thinks he’s elite. So does McCain, Hill, Bob Barr, and anyone else who has the audacity to believe that he/she should be the President of the United States. Please. How in the hell can someone raise hundreds of millions of dollars and travel non-stop around the country to tell people again and again why he is the right choice — the only choice — to become the world’s most powerful person and NOT BE ELITIST? Ripping a presidential candidate for being elitist to me is like ripping your heart surgeon for being a perfectionist.

Good stuff.

According to the AP, Hillary Clinton has been mathematically eliminated from the Democratic presidential nomination. The AP is basing this on public commitments from convention delegates. Hillary's campaign manager, the brilliant Terry McAuliffe, is still saying that our girl isn't conceding.

"The race goes on, the AP is wrong, blah blah blah." <---I think that's what he said.

So basically everyone has accepted Barack Obama as the Dem nominee except for Hillary and her people. She's basically pulling a Costanza (continuing to show up for work even though she's been fired). Fair enough. Question though - can this tactic be used in other walks of life?

Like tonight after the White Sox lose to the Royals 2-1, can Crazy Bones tell his team to stay on the field? "Dis game iz not over. Deez kidz play hard and we no give up." I can see that working, at least for a little while until they turn the lights off. It's worth a shot though. It's been working for Hillary for the last month or so.

[Follow-up from Brian: I realize that Costanza quit that job and wasn't actually fired until he came back the next day. I also realize that this makes my analogy quite lame. But I'm willing to overlook it if you are. Thanks]

Speaking in New Mexico yesterday, Barack Obama left some scratching their heads at this line...

On this Memorial Day, as our nation honors its unbroken line of fallen heroes — and I see many of them in the audience here today — our sense of patriotism is particularly strong.

Clearly he was referring to the veterans in the audience and not the war dead for whom we celebrate Memorial Day. It was an honest mistake but it still made me laugh.

I realize this is yesterday's news, but 37!?!? Keep in mind that he actually got a spare in one frame! That means that assuming he guttered after the spare, (and let's face it, that's a fair assumption!) he only knocked down 27 other pins in the other 9 frames. THIRTY SEVEN?!

I suppose we should look to the great Harry Doyle for the consolation that "at least he didn't spike himself."

Find out all the great things Barack Obama has done for you here...

Barack Obama is your new bicycle.

We wanted to give our readers a chance to learn a little about the various presidential candidates. We'll present you with a snippet of a speech by each candidate.

The first candidate we will look at is the Democratic front-runner, Sen. Barack Obama (D, IL). The following is an excerpt of a speech Senator Obama gave in Manchester, NH on November 20, 2007.

I've visited many schools and spoken to many teachers and students throughout my two decades of ##### service, but one I'll always remember is my visit to Dodge Elementary School in Chicago just a few years ago.

I was talking with a young ##### there, and I asked her what she saw as the biggest ##### facing her students. She gave me an answer that I had never heard before. She spoke about what she called "##### Kids Syndrome" - the tendency to explain away the shortcomings and failures of our ##### system by saying that "these kids can't #####" or "these kids don't want to #####" or "these kids are just too ##### behind." And after awhile, "##### kids" become somebody else's #####.

And this ##### looked at me and said, "When I hear that ##### it drives me nuts. They're not ˜##### kids.' They're our #####. All of them."

She's absolutely right. The ##### child in Manchester or Nashua whose parents can't find or afford a quality pre-school that we know would make him more likely to #### in school, and ##### better, and ##### later in life - he is our child.

The little ##### in rural South Carolina or the South Side of Chicago whose school is ##### falling down around her, and can't afford ##### textbooks, and can't attract new teachers because it can't afford to pay them a ##### salary - she is our child.

The teenager in ##### Boston who needs more ##### and better ####ing to compete for the #### jobs as the teenager in Bangalore or Beijing - he is our child.

These ##### are our children. Their future is our future. And it's time we understood that their ##### is our responsibility. All of us.

This is a defining moment for our #####. Revolutions in communications and technology have created a ##### economy of high-tech, high-wage jobs that can be ##### anywhere there's an internet connection - an economy where the most valuable skill you can sell is your #####.

##### is now the currency of the Information Age. It's no longer just a pathway to ##### and ##### - it's a pre-requisite. There simply aren't as many jobs today that can support a family where only a high school degree is required. And if you don't have that degree, there are even fewer jobs available that can keep you out of poverty.

In this kind of economy, countries who out-#### us today will out-#### us tomorrow. Already, China is graduating eight times as many ##### as we are. By twelfth grade, our children score lower on ##### and ##### tests than most other kids in the world. And we now have one of the highest high school ##### rates of any industrialized nation in the world.

Well I do not accept this future for America. I do not accept an America where we do nothing about six million students who are ####ing below their grade level - an America where sixty percent of African-American fourth graders aren't even ####ing at the basic level.

I do not accept an America where we do nothing about the fact that half of all teenagers are unable to understand basic ##### - where nearly nine in ten African-American and Latino eighth graders are not proficient in #####. I do not accept an America where elementary school kids are only getting an average of twenty-five minutes of ##### each day when we know that over 80% of the fastest-growing jobs require a knowledge base in ##### and #####.

This kind of America is ###### unacceptable for our children. It's economically untenable for our future. And it's not who we are as a country.

When people cannot separate the views of a Presidential candidate with the views of their friends. A gay rights group on Monday urged Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama to cut ties with gospel singer Donnie McClurkin, who the gay rights group says spreads false information about gays and lesbians.

McClurkin said he does not believe in discriminating against homosexuals. ‘‘What people do in their bedrooms and who they are as human beings are two different things,’’ he said. But he also added that he “does not believe that [gay marriage] is the intention of God”.

Okay, fair enough.

Barack Obama has invited McClurkin to perform on his campaign concert tour.

Because he’s a gospel singer.

And because he’s a friend.

And because he’s really good at what he does and has won multiple Grammys.

Not because of his views on gay marriage.

Why can’t people separate the two things? It’s not like he’s inviting Hitler on stage.

You know what else grinds my gears? People who still use Hitler as their go-to antagonist by saying things like "it’s not like he’s inviting Hitler on stage". Can’t we find a better example than a guy who’s been dead for 60 years? I vote that we start using Joe Morgan.

[Editor's note: Brian was able to use 6 different previously-used labels for this post, a modern record for 1HappySt. Some might argue (and would probably be right) that his whole reasoning for this nonsense blog today was to use as many labels as possible. Rumor has it that Brian's only regret with today's entry was that he was not able to use 'ridiculous afro'. Wait, does Donnie McClurkin have one?]

We try not to get too political here at 1 Happy St. so I apologize ahead of time if the mere mention of a politician evokes the kind of knee jerk reaction all too common in the polarized nation in which we live.

I just wanted to ask if it's only I that thinks that Barack Obama (D-IL) has to have the most unfortunate name of any politician in recent memory, and that includes Dick Armey. From day one, it was clear it was going to be a stumbling block for Obama when he was called "Osama Obama" by Senator Ted Kennedy (D-MA) shortly after his election to the US Senate.

Even today, we hear that CNN mistakenly spelled the name of Osama bin Laden on a graphic that read, "Where is Obama?" To any regular viewer of CNN, or any other news network for that matter, the answer to that question was an obvious one. Everywhere. But they were not referring to the junior Senator from Illinois.

One can't help but feel for the guy. Here he is at the top of his career with the pundits nightly debating his qualifications for the White House, and he has to have a last name that is one letter off of the most hated man in America.

But wait, it gets better. Do you know what Barack Obama's middle name is? It's Hussein! Bummer. Something tells me that the country might be a little reluctant to elect the next President of the United States with the name of Barack Hussein Obama!

I suppose it could be worse. At least his first name isn't Adolf.

- I really can’t blame Kenny Rogers for making up that nonsense about not knowing what was on his hand last night. If I pooped on my hand, I wouldn’t tell people about it either.

- I can’t wait for the Redskins to give Lance Briggs a max deal this off-season, even though he is currently playing in a system that makes it nearly impossible for an outside linebacker to not have inflated tackling stats.

- Then again, this may be my way as a Bears fan to downplay the fact that the Bears will be without one of their Pro Bowlers on defense next year.

- I saw "Jarhead" on HBO over the weekend. An entertaining movie, but I can’t recommend it because there was no warning beforehand of the over-the-top use of Jake Gyllenhaal’s man-butt.

- Don’t get me wrong; I have no problem with Jake’s man-butt. But at least give me a warning beforehand so I can prepare for it.

- I’m willing to jump on board that rhythm is a dancer, but you will never convince me that it’s also my soul’s companion. I mean c’mon.

- I love it when a media guy says that a certain athlete "needs to shut up and play". Isn’t the athlete just answering a question from a different media guy?

- Yes, that was me two random’s ago referencing an awful early-90’s dance song. That was also me using the word "random" as a noun. Or was that a pronoun?

- I don’t know how comfortable I’d feel with a guy named "Obama" as President. It’s just too close. Couldn’t he change his last name to "Miller" or something?