1 Happy St

I just got an email from "PayPal" saying my account was expired and I needed to renew and to "click here". The attached hyperlink is fake and will most likely will bring you to a place you don't want to be. So if you get something similar, don't fall for it. The grammar mistakes should be a dead giveaway, but hey you never know.

Her: No for real. If I were to die tomorrow, do you think you'd ever get remarried?
Him: Tough to say. All I can say for sure is that you're the only person I've ever met who I could ever see myself being married to.
Her: I better be.
Him: Okay how 'bout you? Would you get remarried?
Her: Hell no. I'm not doing that again. I'd probably have lots of sex though.

Send a broadcast message to the entire floor that says, "I bought some extra Halloween candy. It's in the breakroom. Get it while it lasts."

Only 3 injuries reported this time though, so that's good.

For reasons beyond my control, 1happyst.tumblr.com may have been updated for the last time, so this may be my only other option.

I'm still debating. I'll let you know though.

Goodbye Folks. It's been fun. If you'd like to chat, please email me.

"Dec. 9 to my family, to us, to me, is what Pearl Harbor Day was to the United States. It was a complete surprise, completely unexpected. And just like the United States prevailed in that, we'll prevail in this." - Rod Blagojevich

Other things that are complete surprises and completely unexpected:

- Opening a door and there being another person on the other side
- The first time you saw the end of The Sixth Sense
- Sneezes
- Joakim Noah having a good game
- Getting a letter in the mail
- Cell phone bills if you went over your minutes
- Surprise parties
- An episode of 30 Rock that isn't funny
- Positive pregnancy tests for couples who weren't trying

Do you know what all of those examples have in common? NONE OF THEM RESULTED IN THE DEATH OF THOUSANDS OF INNOCENT PEOPLE NOR THE DESTRUCTION OF BILLIONS OF DOLLARS WORTH OF PROPERTY NOR CAUSED OUR COUNTRY TO ENTER A WORLD WAR.

Other than that, his simile is spot on.

Have I mentioned that I hate this man?

I'm out of ideas.

Me too.

What if we dressed Kristin up like some freakish woman who creates mischief.

We've done that 300 times already.

Okay, well what if Will was in the scene with her and he just kept repeating her name over and over again.

I don't get it.

Neither do I, but we're stuck.

Okay, so what will Kristin's character's name be?

Um, Gilly?

Why Gilly?

It sounds funny, right?

No.

C'mon, picture Will just saying "Gilly, Gilly, Gilly, Gilly, Gilly, Gilly, Gilly" over and over and over again for 5 minutes.

Yeah I don't get it.

Well you better jump on board with it because we're doing it.

It turns out that Barack Obama made his 1st mistake as President only 3 sentences into his speech. When he said, "Forty-four Americans have now taken the presidential oath", that was wrong. It's true that he's the 44th President, but only 43 Americans have taken the oath.

Grover Cleveland anyone?

Why didn't Aretha go with the big bow?

Do you realize that we don't have a President right now all because of Yo Yo Ma? (from Sam at about 12:01 ET)

Hearing Barack Obama give a speech, I can't help but be reminded of Eddie Murphy when he's doing his MLK impression in The Distinguished Gentleman. Are there any handicaps or gays on the committee. No gays.

Pretty typical though. Talked about hope for the new administration. Thanked the outgoing administration. A nice job overall. But did he pick a dog yet?

I double-checked with my opinion and that was the Worst. Poem. Evar.

Okay you were there. You flew to D.C. and stood there in 20 degree weather to watch a guy give a 15 minute speech. What next? Coffee shop? Bar? Laser Tag?

It sounds like I'm listening to a college football game.

Ladies and Gentlemen, your 2009-2013 United States Executive Branch

Woooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#44 (get it?), at President, Barack Obama

Woooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wait, Barack Obama is only 47 years old? Wow that's young. And he's from Hawaii? That's gotta be a first, right? No wonder people are making a big deal about this.

"Johnny" is talking loudly near "Billy's" desk.

Billy: "Hey Johnny, someone on the other side of the floor wants to talk to you."
Johnny: "Who?"
Billy: "It doesn't matter. Pick someone."
Johnny: "Okay I get it."

More overheard by Bulls color man Bill Wennington during the radio broadcast: "Nice penetration by Derrick Rose who was able to find an opening. With his length and quickness he has quite an advantage once he gets near the rim."

Oh come on.

Overheard by Bulls color man Bill Wennington during the radio broadcast: "That was a good possession on offense by the Bulls. Gordon missed the 3, but Deng was right there for the rebound. He did a good job blocking out and got the easy putback."

I guess that's the Bulls offense in a nutshell: run it through a smallish 2-guard who can't dribble and shoots 40% from the floor. Then get the rebound after he misses. Just the way Vinny drew it up.

Via ESPN Rumor Central: The Pittsburgh Pirates have contacted free agent pitcher Pedro Martinez and would be interested if the price is right, the Pittsburgh Post Gazette reported.

I have no problem living in a time when major newspapers in NY, LA, and Chicago are bankrupt. I have no problem living in a time when my house is worth half of what it was worth 4 years ago. I have no problem living in a time when the unemployment rate is near 10%. But I'll be damned if I will accept living in a time when Pedro Martinez is a pitcher for the Pirates.

Don has been down on his team since the end of Game 3 against the Dodgers (actually it's probably closer to the end of Game 1). On Sunday, his team traded the once-untouchable (and 5 tool?) prospect Felix Pie to the Orioles for a couple of young pitchers Garrett Olsen, 25 and Henry Williamson, 23. Here is the IM conversation Don and I just had.

Donald(08:31): Was Garrett Olsen like the O's 5th starter last year?
Brian(08:32): Kinda. He's one of those guys who has been good in the minors and then sucks royally when he's reached the majors. Much like Felix Pie actually.
Donald(08:32): ahhh the old crap for crap
Brian(08:32): Or....the old "you take my crap and turn it gold while I take your crap and keep it crap"
Donald(08:33): Or....the old "you take my crap and turn it gold while I take your crap and give it to San Diego to make it gold while taking their crap"
Brian(08:33): i just LOL'd

Cubs Fever! See if you can catch it!

Also, this team won 97 games last year.

Awesome. Go White Sox!

FOLLOW-UP FROM BRIAN: Where was Kenny Williams while this trade was happening? You're telling me the White Sox couldn't find a spot on their roster for a guy like Felix Pie when their current CF's are Brian Anderson and friggin' Jerry Owens? Shameful.

Headline seen: US Airways survivor texts: 'My plane is crashing'

Well I guess now we know. It wasn't a bird. Some moron had their cell phone turned on.

/too soon?

When I was watching Mannequin the other night (still don’t judge me), I noticed that the antagonist, well one of them, was James Spader. I forgot that he was in that, which makes sense because it didn’t really look like him. He definitely looked a lot different in Mannequin than he did in Pretty in Pink. I got to thinking about other movies where I was shocked to learn who one of the actors was. For instance:

- One of Biff’s friends in Back to the Future is Billy Zane.

- The villainous nerdy kid from Road Trip is Daryl from Adventures in Babysitting. "Ya think?"

- Connie, the mom from Son in Law, is also Ferris’s mom. I found this one out by questioning how two "different" actresses can have the same name. Wasn't that against union rules? Oh yeah I'm a smart one.

- Ronald Miller’s little brother is Seth Green.

- Siggy from What About Bob is the "beer has gone bad" guy from Can’t Hardly Wait.

Can you think of more that shocked you when you first learned/realized it?

One thought crossed my mind as I looked at the thermometer on my dashboard that was showing -18: it could be 50 degrees warmer and it would still be freezing. Pretty cool.

Once it gets down to -18, does it really matter if it gets any colder? Like would I be able to tell the difference between -18 and -35? Maybe. But either way I'm staying inside as much as possible. The only thing that should change is my gas bill. So I'm rooting for colder. I wanna break records.

Jill was wrapped up in a blanket on the couch. I got up to go to bed, so I handed her the TV remote.

Jill: "No I don't want it. I wouldn't be able to flip anyway. I'm all wrapped up here."

Brian: "HA!!!! You need a Snuggie!"