Monday, August 11, 2008
For my next trick, I will move that building through osmosis
by Anonymous at 3:07 PM
What the hell?!?!
No seriously. What the bloody hell?!?!
No, no, forget the hell. What the bloody [bleep]?!?!
Do me a favor and click that link, then read the first sentence, then tell me what the [bleep]. I'm begging you. I need answers to the following questions:
1. What the hell?
2. What the bloody hell?
3. What the bloody fuck?
4. Seriously, what the [bleep]?
5. How?
7. When?
8. Why do I keep changing from [bleep] to fuck?
9. What happened to 6?
10. Is this for real?
Friday, July 11, 2008
Maybe this is why my PC is running Windows 98 (kidding)
by Anonymous at 11:21 AM
Whenever some new gadget comes out (hey, did you hear about this thing called the iPhone? Apparently it's been out for like a year, but today they're releasing a newer model. It's all the rage I guess), I always make fun of the people who stand in line early in the morning to purchase it. My thought is "why not just wait until later in the day or even tomorrow? What's with this obsession to be first with everything?" So after I come across one of these new gadgets in person, the owner will say something to me like "dude, you should totally get one, it's awesome" and I'll respond with something like "first of all, stop calling me dude. And second of all, why would I buy it now when six months from now it'll be half the price?"
So then six months will go by and sure enough, this new gadget will be half the price and that same guy from the example above will remember about our conversation from six months prior and he'll be all "Dude, it's half the price now. You gonna get one?" and I'll be all "First of all, what did I tell you about calling me that. And second of all, why would I buy it now when six months from now, they'll be releasing a newer model that's even better?"
And around and around we go. Which begs the question, how can I ever own any gadgets?
Monday, October 08, 2007
Yeah but can it fly?
by Anonymous at 2:34 PM
I want this thing. No seriously; I want it right [bleep]ing now. I'll even take it in yellow (half off of course).
Watch the video.
Monday, April 23, 2007
Conference calls, chapstick and capri pants
by Greg at 11:05 AM
It's a good thing they invented the push button phone key pad before they invented cell phones. Texting on rotary would be a bitch!
Do you ever wonder how people first discovered that cow milk was safe for human consumption? One guy had to look at a cow's udders and think, "Let's pull on 'em and see what comes out!" And then his buddy said, "Yeah, and then let's drink it!"
It's impossible to look tough while putting on chapstick.
Sight seen at yesterday's White Sox vs. Tigers game: Man in a skin tight leopard print shirt and capri pants with a flourescent yellow belt trying to start the wave. Congratulations, Slugger. You're the Mike's Hard Lemonade Gay of the Game!
I love the multi-person conference call on speaker phone at full volume in an open cubicle so everyone in at 40 foot radius has to hear the whole thing. Classic move, cube neighbor. Well played.
