1 Happy St

Whenever I have any doubts about the quality of work we put out here at 1 Happy St., I need only remember that at least we are not Rosie O'Donnell. Brian and I are William Effing Shakespeare compared to the drivel being written over on Rosie.com. If you haven't seen it yet, I highly recommend it.

Take for instance, Rosie's most recent diatribe against... umm... Truth be told, I really have no idea what the hell she's talking about. There is no punctuation, no capitalization, and as far as I can tell, no coherent thoughts. It's the kind of thing I would write if I wanted to intentionally fail a poetry class.

Either Rosie has the writing ability of a kindergartener or her fat fingers are too big to work the keyboard on her Blackberry.

Does anybody think Rosie O’Donnell is funny? It seems like every week we get to watch yet another clip of Rosie saying something insane, followed by the producers of The View issuing a statement either apologizing for it, or brushing it off as Rosie being Rosie. But what I can’t understand is why anyone would want to sit through a full hour of painfully unfunny dialogue by painfully unfunny women at a roundtable. Seriously, who is watching The View? It has to have an audience or else it wouldn’t be on. Perhaps it’s a lack of options. Maybe people just don’t have anything better to do in the morning than watch Rosie O’Donnell and her cohorts slobber all over each other. So I’ve come up with a short list of things to do that would be both more fun and more productive than watching The View.

- The obvious, go to the dentist. Everyone could use a good teeth-cleaning, right?

- Shop for groceries. Do you know what you’re doing for dinner tonight? No, you don’t. So go buy some food.

- Go to the post office. You need stamps.

- Get a massage. This one’s obvious.

- Build a fort. When was the last time you built a fort?

- Watch Ellen’s show. It’s only a couple clicks of the remote away. Enjoy.

Apparently Lance Bass, formerly of the boy band *NSync, has announced that he's gay. Did he really have to announce it? Weren't we all just sort of assuming it anyway? That's like Rosie O'Donnell announcing she has given up on Spandex. We're not surprised and frankly we're all a little glad.

Actually, I can say I was a little surprised. I always just thought he was BI BI BI.