1 Happy St

This story is awesome.

For 22 sixth-graders from Bellwood, IL, it's the chance -- and challenge -- of a lifetime: If they can get all A's and B's throughout middle school and high school, stay out of trouble and graduate, they'll earn a college scholarship worth hundreds of thousands of dollars to Concordia University in River Forest, IL.

Fifth Third Bank is sponsoring the program, which includes free tuition, room, board and books at Concordia, where tuition is nearly $30,000. It's likely to cost substantially more when these kids start college, around 2015, though Concordia plans to offer a steep discount.

The cynic in me says that this opens up the possibility for lawsuits if a teacher of one of these 22 students gives them a C in the next 7 years. But....wait, I'm no cynic.

This story is awesome.

From Fox News:

Joe Son, who played the character Random Task in the first "Austin Powers" movie, has been charged by California authorities in connection with an unsolved 1990 Christmas Eve gang rape.

Son pleaded guilty in May to felony vandalism, which required him to give a DNA sample — which eventually connected him to the rape, police say.

Son, 37, was charged Oct. 1 with five felony counts of forcible rape, two felony counts of forcible sodomy, two felony counts of sodomy in concert by force, seven felony counts of forcible oral copulations, one felony count of sexual penetration by foreign object by force according to an Orange County District Attorney's Office release about an arrest in the case.

A friend of the actor filed the original vandalism police report, in which the friend identified Son as an actor in the "Austin Powers" movie, Susan Kang Schroeder, public affairs counsel for the D.A.'s office, told FOXNews.com.

Wow.

EDIT: Even if it's not funny, I try to make the last line of every post some kind of quip or joke. But after reading the charges this guy faces, it was tough to come up with anything. There's nothing funny about this story whatsoever. I thought about going with "yep, it reminds me of college alright", but not only is that not funny, it's also kind of offensive. So that's why I just went with "wow". But co-worker Adam just sent me this IM: the victim was reported as saying: "that really hurts...honestly...who uses a shoe?!?" Okay that's funny.

An 18-year-old man stole $17.50 from a group of kids selling lemonade. One of the kids chased the man down into a home and waited there until the police arrived. An hour later, the man surrendered and was arrested. He was charged with felony burglary.

A few thoughts here:

1. Isn't it weird to read 18-year-old MAN? I remember when I was 18. I was no man. Neither is this guy. Stealing lemonade money from kids disqualifies you.

2. FELONY burglary? Stealing less than $20 from a group of kids is a felony? Holy crap!

3. The kid who chased this "man" is a badass. But a badass whose parents probably need to tell her that what she did was foolish.

MORRIS, Ill. (AP) - Got milk?

Police say a trailer loaded with 14 tons of double-stuffed Oreos has overturned, spilling the cookies still in their plastic sleeves into the median and roadway. Illinois State Police Sgt. Brian Mahoney says the truck's driver was traveling from Chicago to Morris on Interstate 80 around 4 a.m. Monday when he fell asleep at the wheel and slammed into the median.

In other news, Kirstie Alley's publicist has announced she will be heading to Morris, IL to assist with the cleanup effort.

Oil prices continue to surge as U.S. dollar weakens

In other words, status quo. You can continue doing what you're doing. I'll be sure to update you if housing prices go down or the stock market crashes or Barack Obama avoids a question about his health plan or Britney gets taken away in an ambulance.