1 Happy St

Jill and I watched The Hills again last night. I told her that it would be the last time I'd watch it. I can't take it anymore. The show is so stupid, the people on it are so unlikeable, and every time I watch it I end up getting mad. And it's not anger that's directed at anything or anyone in particular. It's just general madness. Something about the show irritates me to no end. I've composed a list of possible reasons why I get so irritated. My guess is it's one or all of the following:

- Justin Bobby's goofy hats and the way he sticks his jaw out when he runs out of things to say.

- Audrina's big teeth.

- Whenever a character says "are you serious? oh my god". First of all, it wasn't a big deal. And I have no second of all; it wasn't a big deal. Yes he cheated on her, but it wasn't the first time he did it and it won't be the last. She's a complete fucking moron and he's an asshole so it was bound to happen.

- Brody's birthday parties.

- Everything about Spencer. He's rude, he's dumb, he has no friends, his facial hair is the same color as his skin, and he has a girlfriend who won't leave him. If you were to look up "douche" in the dictionary, it would probably say something about feminine hygiene. Er, you know what I mean; that stupid dictionary picture cliche'.

- Lauren and Stephanie's computer class. Or is it a fashion class? Who the hell knows? What I do know is that nothing ever gets accomplished there.

- Lo. Why hasn't another woman punched her in the face yet? Right square in the nose.

- The way Whitney pronounces the "g" at the end of any word that ends in "-ing" to where it sounds like a "k" sound. Are the guys comink? I have to go out to my car and get somethink. Ugh. It sounds like there's a gallon of phlegm in her throat. Clear that shit.

I'm sure there are more "thinks" that bother me, but those are the reasons that I can think of off the top of my head. So goodbye Hills. It's been a pleasure. And by "pleasure", I mean "series of half-hour increments where I wanted to kill myself after it was over". Enjoy the rest of your run.

I'm not sure why I even watch The Hills [or why I admit to it]; the show sucks. It's not real, none of the characters are likeable, none of them can act, and all of the situations are forced. But I have to mention the quote from Spencer last night. Near the end of the show, he was having a conversation with his sister, who told him that the reason she had been spending so much time with Lauren (Spencer's enemy) recently was because she hoped that she could eventually get them to start getting along. Spencer's response was classic. He said something like "that would be like trying to get Iran and Israel to get along." First of all, I don't get it. It's one of those quotes that is almost offensive, but sounds too dumb to be. Did he mean Israel and Palestine? Or was he referring to a relationship that isn't even the most volatile of the region? Let's assume he actually meant Iran. What exactly is the relationship between them? One country doesn't recognize the other. The other country doesn't seem to care, but wouldn't be afraid to fire off some missiles in their direction from time to time. Is that about right? Well that's my basic understanding of it.

So let's recap - a contrived relationship between two unlikable characters on a fake reality show :: a real relationship between two countries whose dislike for each other could result in deadly nuclear attacks.

Yeah that sounds about right.