1 Happy St

I don't need drinking games to have a good time, but it doesn't hurt. That's why I'm a little disappointed that I didn't get a head start on a really good one last night while watching the U.S. Mens gymnastic team*.

* Should it still be called "Mens" when none of them look older than 12?

Every time one of them stared into the camera and said "yeah baby" or "#1 baby, #1" or "that's what I'm talkin' 'bout", you take a drink. Tell me you wouldn't have been drunk midway through their 1st routine.

Yeah that's what I'm talkin' 'bout, Baby. That's what I'm talkin' 'bout. This is our house. This is our house. That's what I'm talkin' 'bout.

/Congrats on the bronze medal, but kill me.

Did you stay up last night and watch Michael Phelps Jason Lezak? I didn't. I turned it off after the 3rd leg. I was flipping between the Olympics and the Cubs game all night and every time I'd come back to NBC, I kept thinking I'd missed the relay. Then Bob Costas would say "coming up, the mens 4x100 meter relay, where Michael Phelps will try for his 2nd gold medal." All night long it went like that. Finally after 10pm it started. I didn't know the backstory so much other than that cocky French dude saying his team would destroy the Americans. The Americans with Michael Phelps? Nonsense. How do you beat a team with Michael Phelps?

That's about as much as I know about swimming.

And then the race started. Holy crap, the Americans aren't the best team. They're barely even the 2nd best team. They do have a black guy though; that's pretty cool. But what was the hype all about? Michael Phelps went 1st and by the time he was done, his team was in like 3rd or 4th. What a jip. I stayed up for this?!?

And then the 2nd guy went and he was pretty good. The Americans still weren't winning though.

And then the 3rd black guy went and he was good too. But still not good enough. By the time he was finished, his team was down by a full body-length. And as we all know from having watched countless hours of swimming, a full body-length lead in a 100m race might as well be half a pool length. So that's when I turned off the TV.

What place did the U.S. finally come in? Was it 2nd? Oh well. I guess there's always London in 2012 for Michael Phelps to get his 8 gold medals.

Winning the Award for "Implied negative generalization of a foreign city in an effort to lessen their chances of hosting the Olympics over a storied American city like Chicago when said negative generalization of said foreign city really has nothing to do with the Olympics whatsoever" is this story from the Associated Press.

Nice job AP, real nice job. Keep up the good work and I'll see you local in 2016.