1 Happy St

Once again, the eyes of the nation have turned here to this...
tiny village in western Pennsylvania.
There is no way that this winter is ever going to end...
as long as this groundhog keeps seeing his shadow.
I don't see any other way out.
He has to be stopped.
I have to stop him.

Rise and shine, campers, and don't forget your booties 'cause it's cooooold out there today.
It's cold out there every day. What is this, Miami Beach?
Not hardly.

It's the same things your whole life. "Clean up your room.", "Stand up straight.", "Pick up your feet.", "Take it like a man.", "Be nice to your sister.", "Don't mix beer and wine, ever." Oh yeah, "Don't drive on the railroad track."