Straight up now tell me

Now comes word that everyone's favorite crazy lady Paula Abdul broke her nose over the weekend after she fell while trying to avoid stepping on her Chihuahua. In addition to breaking her nose, she also bruised her arms, chest, and waist, and broke her toe. Poor Paula.

But does anyone really believe this is how it happened? She fell while avoiding her dog? Please. Was there an ACME anvil involved in this by any chance? I think she should release a statement that tells the truth.

"I had just finished my 2nd bottle of Cabernet. As I was walking down the stairs to my wine cellar to fetch another one, I slipped and tumbled down 6 or 7 stairs and landed awkwardly down at the bottom. I'm okay though, and those 3rd and 4th bottles really helped with the pain."

Now THAT'S a story I can get behind.